Once in our life we all have to go through this situation. We have to let go the person we realy love and care about.
While my mother was having heart attack she was on the bed having those fits and I was just rubbing her cold feets, only those I dare to stare, it was realy horible looking at her with so much pain on her face and doctors were continuously asking me to leave the room and suddenly one of them pulled me out and said...
Your rubbing her feets would not going to bring her back to life. Let us do it and ask Allah for help.
hmm....suddenly this thought came into my mind that what if this is the time?
This is the time to let go her?
This is the time when I should glare with twinkle in my eyes and say good bye?
What if.... Even it was the time...even I already made up my mind.....I know I was not ready for such loss.
I think I never be...
I think that I never wanted to loose anyone...even though I was very stupid or dumb but it does not mean I want to let go any relationship.
All my life I worked very hard to have good relationship with all my family, frineds, colleages and every person around me.
All my life I keep my self away of loosing anyone. All my life I tried so hard to tolerate every mistake, mis deed people did to me just to keep them. All my life I treasure humans.
But whatever I did, even how much I tolerate, even after every effort....Those RELATIONSHIPS....kept breaking. People came and went away from my life marking my heart with their foot prints and after every loss I said to myself...may be a little more tolerance....may be a little more care....may be a little more love might had stopped them?
But would it stopped them??? No my caring and my pleading didnt stop anyone. It is how it is...it is how Allah want it..and it will be as HE wanted.
Therefore, I should just leave the room...let the leaving one be alone...give the leaving one own space and should make my heart strong enough to let go..let go the relationship...let go the loved one...
Anyways....hmmm Ammi is better now and I pray that Allah keeps everyones mother in good health and give them long life to share with their children. (Ameen)
Contextual Notes to 'Smoke & Mirrors' - 'Smoke & Mirrors', (*A New Ulster*). Some notes were omitted from the book *About Time: Poems & Adaptations 1993 - 2012* due to the length of the ones that...
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