Friday, October 23, 2009

Am I Feminist ?

I still remember my third day after our valima reception, I packed my little suitcase and ready to go to my mum as all the Pakistani traditional bride had to spent few days with her groom in her family house and when my husdand saw me carrying the little suuitcase he asked, " Can I carry that for you? "

To me it sounds more like, “Prithee, fair maiden! Allow me to relieve thee of thy luggage.” To which I responded (in my heart ofcourse), “What century are you from?” And I felt awkward on his innocent attention towards me and responded, "No its ok....I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you" ...baahh... the very moment romance

After only few months we fought and first thing he said after my thousands of complains that I still didnt actually let him in my live. No it is not it....just because I never asked him to open the door for me....or always took the liberty to submit the utility bills myself...or never bother him to fetch me from my mums house (always come back myself)... or never get sick and asked him to nurse me.... never asked him to carry my bag...did grocery myself.... I thought I am giving him a favour but he was taking it differently... He thinks it hurt my feminism to take help from him.

It was not because I am a feminist.... and it hurt my feminism if I let my husband help me... it is because my parent brought me up like this.... "I am tired" or " I cant do this" was not very common in my mums vocabulary of sentences.

I dont know what FEMINISM means at the first place though I read its meaning in dictionary which says : Advocacy of equal rights for women.

I do belive that women should fight for their proper place in this world. They are human beings and have desire to play important role in their family life or want to achieve thier career and be satisfied.

Erin Pizzey (one of Feminism's pioneers and founder of the UL's first refuge for victums of domestic violence) came to startling conclusion : Women should stay at home and look after the children while men go out to work" .

Cosidering the idea of women having it all - a family and a career - is more like a myth to me.

And as I does not possesses any supernatural powers, I just want to be a woman who need help.

I dont want to imprisoned by my own freedom or vanity and become exhausted end up taking care of everything in and out of my house.

So definetly.... I am not feminist. hmmm.....

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