Thursday, December 30, 2010

You got the LOOK !

Whenever I asked my beloved husband for permission to go to my mum’s house…hmmm

He used to give me the LOOK…the look which always made me remember one of my uncle and his half paralyzed state due to which the right side of his mouth was disfigured and his right side lips dangled loosely giving an impression that he is trying to whistle from right side…moreover…the stream of saliva ran out of his mouth whenever he saw food or juice.

And remembering my uncle because of my beloved husband’s look was a torture to me….and he kept torturing me as I kept asking him for permission to call upon my mother.

I was tortured and the irony was I can’t tell him that what is torturing me…on the contrary I believed that my rush to end our conversation at once after his scornful look gave him confidence that he delivered the message to me...a message not to let me go away…a message of not leaving him…alone.

Nevertheless…I always tried to escape that LOOK…I was bound to ask for his permission to visit my mum’s as she is old...she is alone and she needs us and the torture goes on.

One day…however…I tried to clearly see at him…at his face…even when he was giving me that LOOK….

I told him about my uncle’s and why I remembered him on the precise moment of our quarrel on “to go or not to go” to my mother.

He instantly….corrected his facial expressions and looked into my eyes….”you are not serious?” he asked me with a smile…

“hmm ….well I am serious about it you may ask any of my siblings about my uncle’s condition and you know what…I was the one who always spent most of the time wiping his saliva while I sat besides him with my glass of juice/Pepsi.”

“Why you always sat besides him with glass of juice when you knew it will start his saliva over which he didn’t have any control?” He asked thoughtfully.

“It seems like…torturing… to me!” He said again excited jumping up to the conclusion.

“hmm….you guessed it right…it was torture to the poor man…and that is exactly what is torturing me now…”

I felt the sudden weight on the corner of my eyes and soon found out that the weight was actually the tears...on the edge of my eyes ready to wave out but somehow sticked to my eyelashes.

I am quite happy that my husband has stopped giving me that look but I often remember my uncle and the way I have been with him…gives pain and regret….hmm….

May Allah forgive me and overlook my sins. Ameen.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Yellow Fellow !

Have you ever felt conscious eating a banana whilst out in public?

For the record...I have...hmm....

And I did the other day when sitting in the car in a petrol pump after realizing that the question...was huge.

A few men in petrol pump suits pottered about the yard...probably having a good laugh at my expense.

Maybe paranoia was taking over a bit but I couldn't help thinking that....that banana was to blame for their sudden burst of hysterics.

I peeled off the skin and continued to eat....hmm....trying my best to ignore anyone in my vicinity...but it was no use.

We are talking about good handful of nine hand clasped around it as I continued to place it in my mouth...devouring it with a matter of minutes.

I didn't lick my lips afterwards...for fear of causing increase in hunger for all the people who were looking at me.

I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way...hmm...

Perhaps I just need to get a grip.

If people come to the house and I'm eating a banana I get mysteriously embarrassed at the actual putting it in my mouth...when..let's face it....what else can we do with a banana.

I grew up on them...

I've loved them all my life...

I think I'll cut mine up in future.....hmm....

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Publically(not) a public.

I always think of myself as a PUBLIC person.

A person who don’t think of herself as unique or different and I always try my best to fit in the PUBLIC or common masses.

Only...I have always a thing about public facilities (toilets); a thing that consist of being reluctant to use them.

I knew there was a reason why I prefer to avoid the public toilets...hmm...

I was reminded at the supermarket over the weekend...after approaching the ladies...which is rather inconveniently situated next to the men’s.

The aroma hit me like a slap in the face as I turned into the corridor…seeing a man walk towards me…bow-legged and adjusting himself.

The stench came from the door he had just gone through and I was most relieved at the prospect of having separate toilets.

The lady who strolled in front of me turned round and pulled a face.

I struggled to breathe and didn't dare open my mouth to say anything in case the fumes hit the back of my throat....hmmm...

What was revolting was the fact we weren't far from the fruit and vegetable area.

When we were in Bangkok in last December…most of the toilets we used in shopping plazas’ were pay-only.

And was definitely worth it because they were all clean, bright and displaying fresh flowers by the sinks; each had plenty toilet paper and decent locks on the doors.

I'm not the most hygienic person in the world…being a working woman and going home after 7:00pm everyday means cleanliness isn't always an option.

Using the facilities in places like supermarkets shouldn't be a nauseating experience; if a shop or organisation provides toilets they should be checked...cleaned this case...fumigated.

hmm…me and my experiences….sigh…

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Few Stories !


One night a feast was held in the palace, and there came a man and prostrated himself before the prince, and all the feasters looked upon him; and they say that one of his eyes was out and that the empty socket bled.

And the prince inquired of him,

"What has befallen you?"

And the man replied,

"O Prince, I am by profession a theif, and this night, because there was no moon, I went to rob the money-changer's shop, and as I climbed in through the window I made a mistake and entered the weaver's shop, and in the dark I ran into the weaver's loom and my eye was plucked out. And now, O prince, I ask for justice upon the weaver."

Then the prince sent for the weaver and he came, and it was decreed that one of his eyes should be plucked out.

"O prince," said the weaver, "the decree is just. It is right that one of my eyes be taken. And yet, alas ! both are necessary to me in order that I may see the two sides of the cloth that I weave. But I have a neighbour, a cobbler, who has also two eyes, and in his trade both eyes are not neccessary."

Then the prince sent for the cobbler. And he came.

And they took out one of the cobbler's two eyes.

And justice was satisfied.


The Fox

A fox looked at his shadow at sunrise and said,

"I will have a camel for lunch today."

And all morning he went about looking for camels. But at noon he saw his shadow again....

and said....., " A mouse will do."


Said a Blade of Grass

Said a blade of grass to an autum leaf,

"You make such a noise falling ! You scatter all my winter dreams."

Said the leaf indignant,

"Low-born and low-dwelling!

Songless, peevish thing !

You live not in the upper air and you can not tell the sound of singing."

Then the autum leaf lay down upon the earth and slep. And when spring came she waked again - and she was a blade of grass.

And when it was autum and her winter sleep was upon her, and above her through all the air leaves were falling, she muttered to herself,

"O these autumn leaves !

They make such a noise !

They scatter all my winter dreams."

By: Khalil Gibran.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Differentiator - (Al - Furqan)

Above Picture : Ummat 24-Nov-2010

In the name of God, the Lord of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

Al-Furqan is a Meccan sura that starts with a denunciation of polytheism, then deals with the disbelievers' arguments against the Prophet, the Quran, and the Day of Judgement. It warns them of their fate, citing examples of earlier peoples. The sura describes the power and grace of God, and ends with the qualities of true believers (verses 63-73).
Ayat 41-42:
Whenever they see you (prophet) they ridicule you:
'Is this the one God has sent as a messenger? He might almost have led us astray from our gods if we had not stood so firmly by them'.
When they see the punishment, they will know who is furthest from the path.
Someone gives me surprise...rather heart attack by writing a ridicules comment that our Holy Prophet (pbuh) killed a person in the war of Badr, because he used to make fun of our Prophet(pbuh) face - God Forbid.
When I came back to my senses after the shock I asked her to give me any evidence and she gave me the reference, she told me that she read the article from Hafiz Ibtasam Ilahi Zaheer in Daily Newspaper Ummat.
I tried to convince her that it may be a misunderstanding and she should delete the comment right away from her blog as our Holy Prophet (pbuh) has never ever hurt anyone...more over killing is far away from his (pbuh) nature.
But she sticked to may call it.
When we know some one....when we love some one...when we admire and like someone...
And if some other...or anyone come to you and tell you something wrong about your loving one...something like..I have heard about your loving one that he is a killer....what would you do?
You not going to publish it right away on your blog...or you not going to write it in your diary....
You would first ask the loving one about the truth...or you will check it or try to find out the truth....if you could not find any relative evidence you will go back to the source and ask him to give you the evidence. Only than you will believe that your loving one is a killer. Otherwise you will just dis-regard the whole conversation.
The above article...has nothing to do with our Holy Prophet (pbuh) killing a person - God Forbid. .
When you are in can't choose people...whom you going to kill. You can't make decision that...ok...this person was mean to me and now its my turn to kill him kill because this is war and who ever come in your way.
And you don't termed the soldier a Killer...soldiers (when are in war) are not killers.
Even then...if we consider the above article that there was a man who used to ridicule Holy Prophet(pbuh) and was killed by Holy Prophet(pbuh) in war of was not intentionally done by Holy Prophet(pbuh). He came in the way and Holy Prophet (pbuh) killed him...end of the story.
Yes...than Allah termed the whole situation in a this way HE gave the final end to those who used to ridicule prophet(pbuh).
It was destined by ALLAH(SWT) that Holy Prophet (pbuh) killed the same person.
And our Prophet(pbuh) did not mentioned a word of killing him because he used to ridicule his(pbuh) face - God Forbid.
I am also like to know from Scholar Hafiz Ibtasam Ilahi Sahib that if he knows so much about the occasion than why not mentioned the name of the person who was killed (as he mentioned).
What my point is here....
I just want to know...that where is our believe and faith?
Where is our sense of respect to our Holy Prophet(pbuh)?
If coming days tell me that Holy Prophet(pbuh) lied - God would I going to publish it on my blog ???
Shouldn't my duty be to shut the whole conversation without listening more or reading more???
Shouldn't this is my faith who keeps me on the believe that Holy Prophet (pbuh) was a complete and perfect human being man and free of all conviction?
How would I as a MUSLIM....believe such articles and more over publishing them on my blog?
I strongly detest such kind of act from any one who did it...just to find some extra spice and add extra strength to her article.
When since childhood as a Muslim we read all about our Holy Prophet(pbuh) merciful we need any kind of confirmation from any scholar?
"The City which had treated him(pbuh) so cruelly, driven him and his faithful band for refuge amongst strangers, which had sworn his life and the lives of his devoted disciples, lay at his feet, his old persecuters relentless and ruthless, who had disgraced humanity by inflicting cruel outrages upon inoffensive men and women, and even upon the lifeless dead, were now completely at his mercy.
But in the hour of his triumph every evil suffered was forgotten, every injury inflicted was forgiven, and a general amnesty was extended to the population of Makkah...."

Syed Amir Ali in "The Spirit of Islam."

Calling before him(pbuh) the populace of the vanquished city, he addressed them with...
"What do you expect at my hands today?"

His(pbuh) people had known him too well, even from his childhood so they replied,
"Mercy, O generous brother and nephew !"

Tears came into the eyes of the Prophet(pbuh) and he said,
"I will speak to you as Joseph spoke unto his brethren, I will not reproach you today; go you are free !"
And now a scene was enacted of which there is really no parallel in the history of the world.
God Almighty testifies as to the lofty and exalted behaviour of His Messenger -
As regards all standards by which human greatness may be measured, we may well ask, is there any man greater than he(pbuh)?
In reply, we too can say once more,
No ! there is no man greater than Muhammad(pbuh).
Muhammad (pbuh) was the greatest man that ever lived.
Subhan Allah.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Keys !

In my purse are keys to other worlds.

I keep them in a small notebook.

I put them there whenever I find them.

Sometimes I find them at work…and other times when I’m waiting in line at the grocery store.

I even find them at hospitals.

I’ve found a door.

I check my notebook for the key that fits.

I take out one of the keys and put it in the lock.

The door opens and before me is my imagination.

It flows out of the door and through me onto the pages.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sharia Law and the Constitution

On November 2, 2010, Oklahoma voters approved a ballot initiative that would forbid state courts from considering Islamic law, otherwise known as Sharia law, in reaching decisions.

Six days later, a federal judge temporarily blocked the law from going into effect while she considers a lawsuit challenging its constitutionality.

Muneer Awad, an Oklahoma Muslim and executive director of the state’s Council on Islamic-American Relations (CAIR) filed suit last month against Oklahoma’s recently approved ballot measure that bans Sharia law in the state.

Mr. Awad says it is all about his “constitutional rights,” and a ban on international law and Sharia Law is “an enduring condemnation of Islam.”

After Awad’s lawsuit, a judge put a temporary restraining order on the law, and in a hearing on November 22nd extended the injunction, which expires November 29th.
Reason behind the ban:
In the November 2010 election, Oklahoma voters approved a referendum (officially known as State Question 755) that would add one new paragraph to the Oklahoma Constitution.
Among other things, that paragraph states, quoted:
The courts shall not look to the legal precepts of other nations or cultures. Specifically, the courts shall not consider international law or Sharia law.
Reason behind the Law suit:
The Islamic community in Oklahoma has complained about the past actions of the state legislature, including a proposal to forbid Muslim women from wearing head garments in driver's license photos and refusing to accept a Koran from a Muslim advisory council at an official state ceremony.
Proponents of the anti-Islamic law measure have cited a New Jersey family court judge's decision not to grant a restraining order to a woman who was sexually abused by her Moroccan husband and forced repeatedly to have sex with him.
The judge ruled that her ex-husband felt he had behaved according to his Muslim beliefs and that he did not have "criminal desire to or intent to sexually assault" his wife.
Muneer assures Oklahomans that there is no "threat of an Islamic takeover of state courts." He also states that Oklahoma is singling out Islam.
Therefore, not allowing Sharia to dictate law is against his First Amendment rights.
It’s a fascinating case and- -in my opinion- -not a slam dunk for either side.
But even if the law is upheld, it could lead to some strange consequences.
We’ll find out more as Awad’s lawsuit makes its way through the courts.
Sources: Fox News & Internet.

Saturday, December 11, 2010


In my childhood….I watch MYSELF drawing a red line…

MYSELF started drawing the line on my sketchbook…soon….ran off the paper….

But MYSELF keep drawing the red line along the floor…..

And than on the wall….and right out the door…..

I shouted for MYSELF to come back….but WHY I AM WORIED?….I said to me….

MYSELF….will soon run out of crayons or may be get tired…..

One hour… two hours…

I get up and shout again.

No answer.

So….I followed the red line.

That was thirty years and twenty thousand miles ago.

Once…I can’t see the line…

But soon found out….Oh….it’s there….just too faint for me to see.

But now I can.

And I will follow it...


I find MYSELF.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Peacock Feet !

Too bad...hmm...that the peacock can't wear shoes.

Otherwise he would have not felt embarrassed to see his feet whenever he preparaed to dance.

The sight of them always brought tears to his eyes.

What a blemish on his God gifted beauty...hmmm...

A few days ago...I met one of my

Who had stirred so many young ladies hearts and was more than welcome in any relative's house anytime of the week and any time of the day.

We had an understanding that we have understanding...though neither one of us figured out that it was mere likeness in our thoughts and witty concerns about family matters.

Of course...I had a crush on him...hmm...only...I was 18teen that time.

Once his mother visited us and stayed for dinner...I was at my most efficient that night and was playing my dreams...

When we met again in one of the relatives' marriage ceremony I asked him how his mother felt about our house and her visit to us.

He said...his mother forbade him to talk to me my surprise I asked him why...he...said nothing...just looked downwards...staring at the floor...

After my same enquiry again...he said..."why don't you wear shoes when you have guests in your house?"

"I don't have to..." I said..."carpeted floor don't require me to wear shoes.."

"So you can wear socks...instead..." he snapped.

"And what has that to do with your mother's visit to our house?"

"Mother said...your feet are like peacock's and nobody in the family has such big..blemished feet..."

"hmmm.....where is your least she thinks I am a peacock??"

But anyway...that was the end of the story...soon after his graduation he went abroad for further studies and I heard nothing from him since then...
Until...last one of our relatives' birthday party...when I first met his dashing...lovely wife...I din't know her....
I thought she is one of the family off springs who lived far far away in heaven and I never had a chance to meet them so it was a good opporunity to learn more about them....
I felt awkward when I saw him with a paper glass of kashmiri tea in each hand coming towards me....and....
I grabbed the nearby corner of the table to maintain my balance...of course I don't want him to see me trembling or shrugging...he is still handsome...and complete in his beauty...
Even I tried to avoid eye contact...he introduced his wife to me...with a grin...I smiled too...a bit confused...and then our eyes met..soon after that...we both looked at his wife's feet..
Then we looked back in each other's eyes and burst into laughter....never minding his innocent wife's presence....
I said to myself...still the understanding between us two...exists...
BTW: His wife has her stiletto open toed heels and her feet were perfectly beautiful.
So girls: Never go bare foot to your might overshadow your beauty...see what a loss I had !