Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Discovery

'
"Our Soul discovers itself when we come into contact with a great mind"
'
Sir Muhmmad Iqbal
'
And my soul started to discover itself almost one year before when I first join the Shafique Sahib class.
'
And since than I really wanted to make a seperate blog for his lectures so that I can make a post and can easily find them when reuired.
'
It is all...what I understand from his teaching and would be something sometimes when I don't undertsand at all.
'
But now my aim is to put everything in writing (in typing).
'
Please visit my new Blog "The Discovery" and tell me how you feel about it?
'
I would be grateful if you guies take out some time for my newly born blog.
'
Waiting for your responses.
'
Take Care.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Cursed Mask

I have so many masks. These blessed MASKS.

Since my childhood I am using each and every one of my mask to protect me from being discovered.

Believe me….I am afraid of being understood..hmm

My masks keep me at distance with this world…its people…its hopes…its desires…its truth…its lie.

I have painted my masks beautifully and use them artistically.

When I was a little girl and came about these masks…it was very hard to put them on…cause…that time...hmm...

I was fond of fresh air and my eyes were in search of truth and my ears wants to hear the beautiful songs...life sing for me.

But soon after first heart break…I become afraid of people…what they going to say?

I should be ready to be crucified by their interrogation…and in my youthful terror….

I pick one of my mask – and put it on…soon…I start smiling…

I felt my dead face…tearful eyes behind mask…but was relieved to know that I am undiscoverable….

hmmm…lot easy way to get away...yeah???

That’s exactly what I think and that’s how I start carrying them with me all the time…

Sometimes…I have to show my sorrow…sometimes my laugh…sometimes my love…sometimes my hatred…sometimes my labor…sometimes my hunger…sometimes my intelligence…

I am now…in a habit of showing what I am not…at that precise moment….
I am now in a habit of prevailing the truth….
I am now in a habit of not saying I should be saying…
I am now in a habit of telling lies…
making fun of other people…
manipulating events…
showing off…

My intelligence…my words….my sighs….my smile…my sympathy….my concern….all of them are my masks….

These cursed masks….which made me what I not used to be….these cursed masks made me evil…these cursed masks made me fool in my own eyes.

I am now tired….tired of these masks….

I want to throw them…get rid of them…why not any thief steel them?

So that I can shout with my throat out and cursed the thieves but would be relieved in heart.

I know…I will be lonely without them…but I know I would be free without them…

I would be free with my loneliness…

I would be able to mingle with my self…

I want my face back...hmmm...

Iwant my face to be touched by radiant sunlight…

I want my soul to be inflamed by love…

I want to shed my masks.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Territorial Creatures

Children can be territorial creatures.

More often than not...if I'm chatting with a spoken-for parent (either mother or father)...
Their children will soon thereafter trot over...throw her/his arm around his/her parent...

Nuzzle his/her face into parent's neck....and smile at me....

Or engage in some other equivalent behavior to mark his/her territory.

I find it amusing and almost interesting that the children considers me (everyone who took the attention of their parents) a threat.

The other day...hmmm....

A similar incident occurred with a twist.

I was walking down the street when I beheld a cousin....with her six years old son....holding hands from a distance.

I guessed it would be nice of me if convey my regards to my cousin....but as I am not a starter....

I mean I never start a conversation myself unless I find someone very very interesting and want to know more about him/her...

I gazed at the long haired mother as they neared me...and pretend that I didn't see her at all and tried my best to make myself prominent to her so that she can come to me.

...my cousin unknown to my utmost pretensions come to me and we start chatting freely and friendly.

The six year old saw me talking to her mother and immediately began swinging their held hands exaggeratedly....pulled his mother closer to him....and then gave me the eye(almost).

All the time I was trying to tame the child but he kept his distance....

Finally...we walked to our destinations without incident.

Again....amused....that I was considered a threat.

Indeed....children can be territorial creatures.

But then I think who else have such love for us?

To mark us....their own territory and to protect us from outsiders' eyes?

hmmm....children are beautiful...creatures...gift of Allah.