Thursday, December 6, 2012

I am waiting....

hmm…and now I am waiting…waiting for us to meet…

When someone whose near you…a friend (might be) leave you without any hint that WHY s/he is leaving….time transfer you from a state of shock to a state of solitude.

You get rid or try to avoid other relationships and suddenly you become like a monk…you like to live alone…you require no one to listen to you…you need no extra pair of shoes…you seldom visit relatives…the only gesture on your plain face is solitude.

You maintain discipline. You live like a ‘Dervaish’ of some heathen worldly order.

But it’s easy for a real dervaish because he has his belief. And solitude without a belief is a curse.

Solitude has its own adventures.

Solitude is very strange too…and sometimes as filled with dangers and surprises as a forest.

I know all its ways…solitude has its secrets.

Solitude is as full of secrets as the jungle…


The boredom against which you mount a hopeless struggle by means of an ordered life.

You live a perfectly ordered existence; you have a title and a rank....and a way of life that is painfully exact.

And comes the sudden moments of revolt…one day you run away from it all with a weapon in your hand...or not – which may be even more dangerous.

You run out into the world...wild-eyed...and your old friends and comrades get out of your way.

You go to a city...everything around you turns to look for fights everywhere and you find them. I said....that is by no means the worst of it.

May be you are struck down as you run like a mangy...rabid dog.

May be you run full-tilt into a wall...against all life’s obstacles....and break every bone in your body.

What’s even worse is if you take this upsurge of feeling...which has accumulated in your heart over so many lonely years...and you push it back inside…because…you are waiting.

So I am waiting….waiting for us to meet….

I will tell you what I went through, alone in this forest of solitude while you were out in the world achieving worldly fame...hmmmm....

And let me remind you that I never ever went amok….I never run neither killed anyone.

What I do instead?

I prepare myself for the moment…we will meet….I have been preparing myself for a duel.

I bring all my affairs into order in case I die in the duel.

And I practices professional duellist do.

And what weapon do I practice with?

With my words… that I will not allow solitude and time to cloud my sight and weaken my heart and my soul.

There is one duel in life....fought without guns or any kind of arms…and that one duel is very important in our life and that one duel is worth preparing for with all your life’s solitude.


  1. dear Friend Connie...if you read this I want to tell you that I received the books you sent few days back. I tried to email you but it returned/undelivered.

    Dear Connie...thank you so much.

  2. Very interesting post. Personally, I don't dislike solitude. I like good company the best, but prefer solitude to a non-good company.

    1. hmm...thank you Agnes for coming.

      Yes...solitude is far more better to non-good company....


  3. Its a WONDERFUL,WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL post.Every sentence is reverberating with well-thought sentiment.

    You're so well acquainted with solitude! I have thought about this too,but never intense enough to put into words.Its just that the qualities society value the most in us are pure gifts of meditations/actions in solitude:be it the ability to look at mundane affairs with a fresh angle, or quickly-retrievable knowledge or a patient heart.

    It was treat reading it.I'm gonna come back and ponder over it again. :)

    1. hmm...Dear Hakuna Matata ...thank you so so much. I am glad that you like the write up. I will wait for you to come again for your thoughts and let us share our thinking...hmm...Solitude is really very dangerous..because it gives you sight to something...details...or minor unnoticeable events which when afterwards you shuffle makes perfect sense...hmm...good to have you.
      As always...I am honored.

  4. Isolating from the society doesn’t cure depression/boredom. We need to remain inter-connected, because loneliness kills.
    Faking is another bitter truth that occurs between persons. Yet, loners expertly enjoy time alone; thus, freedom can be considered as advantage of solitude.
    With increased freedom, a person’s choices are less likely to be affected by exchanges with others. A person’s creativity can be sparked when given freedom.
    Another proven benefit to time given in solitude is the development of self. When a person spends time in solitude from others, he/she may experience changes to his/her self-concept. Solitude also provides time for contemplation, growth in personal spirituality, and self-examination.
    On the contrary, when people spend much of their time in solitude, their behavior may worsen.

    Bottom line: Solitude is attainment of pleasure from within, rather than seeking it in the external world.

    1. hmm...Tariq Mian Sahib...and you sum up well...and there is nothing left for me to add after your comment.

      Only...I am honored to have you. Thank you so much.

  5. I have my fair share of people who left without warning - and I have come to realize that they are not worth the mourning.

    1. hmm... Raajii

      As well no one care to mourn for someone who does not worth is somehow...something inside us tell us...remind us that particular one is worth our solitude.

      I am honored that you came. Thank you so much.

  6. very nice post ,,,I m here after long time but its worth

    1. be honest..I am here after long too...and to find all the visitors again on my post I am simply loving it...

      Thank you so much for coming back.

      I am honored.

  7. Thinking,

    I agree that one should not run away from reality no matter how hurting it be and prepare to face the cause with calm & collected mind. Very nicely written.

    Take care