Just Chill

My elder sister visited my mother few days back….and told me at the end of the trip that I am officially 'old with a lot of pent up frustrations! '...Why?

hmm...she officially declared that I am not able to chill anymore.

Ok...ok...ok..I confess…I can't chill when I stuck on the road in our small office van due to traffic jam everyday for about 4 hours.

I have to mentally prepare for not being able to stretch - I have to mentally prepare for who will be sitting beside me - I have to be 'territorial' about space. I am no longer 25 years old and the bone is just slightly creaky...and I can’t talk non-stop everyday for these 4 hours straight and as well can’t listen to people all over me (it seems though they all keep their distance) for these 4 hours everyday.

I can't chill when on a bus (public transport) no one checks in their luggages and chickens..ducks...ham get lugged onboard alongside super size trunks...and cartons of bricks!

And want me to give them space to sit besides me with all their stuff.

I can't chill when rikhshaw drivers challenge me about where I am going and tell me I should have crossed the road to pick a rikhshaw because of the direction I am going

- NO - I want you to do a U Turn - just drive!!

I can't chill when in a non-smoking restaurant….customers are allowed to smoke because the waiter/waitresses are too scared and not properly trained to manage the situation instead they give me lesson about how to use their crockery.

I can't quite chill when I am not sure where I am going whenever I am driving my mother as she always have a definite plan before leaving home and once we get ourselves inside the car she always seems to forget that PLAN…and poor me forcefully being asked to ‘Don’t ask…too many question….JUST DRIVE’…on a daily basis.

It's not me... ahh…believe me - I am sure it's not me..

hmm- check me…in these conditions…early morning…when people are still in their bed…give me a chair to be seated…a cup of coffee put me in front of sea...

...hmm....and I can show you CHILLLLL...

The Exceptional

I am not here to sell Waheed Murad..hmm....

So I will not talk about his rise and fall during his acting and production career though this rise and fall is common in Performing Art Industry.

What I am to talk about here is that he was exceptional in every way…besides his best acting, he was accomplished producer, a good friend and a good human being.

What made him exceptional is his far sightedness on topics he chooses for the movies under his production.

Which was of course not been noticed by the audiences but since he touched the common man with the topics which united them before as well and in result the beloved Pakistan emerged....he readily captured the audience.

Intentionally or unintentionally he choose the subjects related to the history or present state of Pakistan or its people and this made his movies being readily accepted by every class.

Have you ever listen to any of his movie song as National songs or song which relate to the present state of Pakistan or may be related to the history of Pakistan?

Have you notice the point at which you feel yourself united with your brethren while listening to any of the songs from Waheed Murad movie and have you ever get a chance to listen to the song while imagining the Pakistan’s present state?

If you have not…than let me give your imagination powers one more world to ponder in and where your conscience will love to wander…

Listen to the song I am giving a link below:



And consider the wordings:

Ek naye moor pay lay aye hain halaat mujhay
Dil nay jo mangi wohi mill gayee soghat mujhay

Door rah ker bhi khayaloon mein mere pass ho tum
Kitnay pyaray hain yeah jazbaat yeah lamhaat mujhay

Dil mein ek ajnabi ehsaas key khushboo jagi
Ajj lagty hay her ek baat nayee baat mujhay

Tum kabhi khud ko meri ankhon say chup ker daikho
Kia kahoon tum mein nazr atty hay kia baat mujhay

Now close your eyes and consider the feelings of sub-continent’s Muslim who are dreaming about their new state where they will have the freedom of their choice…where they can pursue their dreams their own way…where they will have the freedom of performing best in their religion…where they can earn the production and where they can get the share in Government.

The wording of the above song exactly match the feelings of the Sub-Continent Muslim who are at the verge of making decision to migrate to their new born state.

Its Waheed Murad’s Death Anniversary on Wednesday, 23 November …

I want to dedicate this song to him and want to salute the artist for bringing the Pakistani Cinema the lustre and shine it lacked before him joining the party.

May Allah rest his soul in peace. Ameen.

Note: Please visit these blogs to read how other tributes Waheed Murad:

Current Affairs with Tariq Mian Sahib

Khurram's Desk

IQBAL-ISM

Impressions and Perceptions

Caravan of Light

Unity in Universe

Rumi, Iqbal and Me

Selfless Devotion

The Discovery

The Republic of Rumi

hmm....

Chatting

I confess that I am not at all like my mother and elder sisters. They all are very sensitive…good cook…perfect house keeper…understanding neighbour…all the time accommodative women…more like mentor to younger people.

I literally get embarrassed on my ~easy going way~ to entertain guests…where they always have to take prior appointment to visit my house…hmm....considered as ‘not very friendly’ in neighbourhood and always blurted out bluntly something to younger people to shoo them away…

How I missed those “the good old days” as my mother always start the story with same exclamation…one of the things I love best about hearing tales of “the good old days” is the camaraderie between neighbours and the kinship that linked generations.

Little girls learned how to be women simply by being with the women in their lives.

Cooking…keeping house…taking care of babies — all the ins and outs of womanhood were learned as a matter of course…simply by one generation absorbing these things from previous ones.

This old-fashioned...front-porch style of passing on values and skills seems lost on me.

May be because I am simply too busy to be involved in other’s lives and because I am a very scattered person...hmmm....

I live hours — or even days — away from my mother and my beloved husband family.

I have more technology at my fingertips than previous ones ever dreamt possible; email...instant messaging...texting and cell phones all enable me to keep in touch with loved ones...literally at the touch of a button.

Yet I am more emotionally distant and withdrawn from those around me than generations past.

How many times I try to find out more about my next-door neighbours than their first names?

How many times have I invited friends from office into my home?

And then I think about it…why?

Since we have lost the ‘connectedness’ of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers….somehow the PERFECT WOMAN picture has been suddenly change to the one projected by Hollywood…Bollywood and not the least Lollywood…

You know what I’m talking about..hmm...

The illusion that real womanhood revolves around keeping up on the latest fashions...perfect figure..filling your home with designer furniture...driving expensive vehicles...having picture-perfect kids and a successful....mannequin-handsome husband.

If anyone finds their visitor/relative/colleague or friend to-be lives falling short of this picture-perfect scenario they discard further meetings.

And that is what making me distant from people around me…I don’t have PERFECT LIVING and PERFECT HOUSE or PREFECT WAYS to invite people…I don’t have perfect ways to become a friend… makes me shy away from people.

It’s too “risky” to ask people over for dinner. They might criticize my imperfections and it’s easier just to keep everyone a safe distance away.

The thought that perhaps some of the younger girls in my circle of friendship might like to spend some time in MY company probably doesn’t even enter my mind.

I mean…teenagers don’t like the types of things I like — they probably think I’m an old…worn-out fogey…(which I highly doubt)anyway.

I am a self-contained….self-absorbed woman and like a plant with shallow roots…I will withers on the vine.

Anyways…I love one definition of a mentor: “Someone farther down the path then you...who is going where you want to go....and who is willing to give you some light to help you get there”.

Accordingly…we can all be a mentor to someone.

So who can I invite for a little front porch chat this week?

hmm...anyone interested?

Show some respect !

I and beloved husband were waiting for a lift whilst waiting….a couple joined me...hmm...

A very young….quite attractive woman and a middle aged man.

She was holding on to his little finger -- quite affectionately.

She couldn't stop talking - in quite a fast mode and very high pitch (rather annoying)....he was all quiet....looking very stern and expressionless-

hmm...and then....the lift door open and he very abruptly and loudly said "KEEP QUIET" ....

At that moment…we (me and my beloved husband looked at each other) must have exhibit some kind of expression which I think annoyed the girl…..but my actual response was to kick the man - for being rude to his " wife" ... not sure what my beloved husband had in mind…

hmmm...I admit….she was noisy and I would have liked for her to stop talking but….that I thought was absolutely disrespectful.

She shut up immediately and still held on to his little finger. His face was still expressionless - slightly charcoal black....she seemed oblivious to it all....

I guess some people can't put up with lots and maybe he's in a bad mood and maybe... she's just really noise and needs to be told off!

I remember once I was in a shop and at the payment bar…the husband when he didn’t find his credit card in his wallet started shouting at his wife for not checking before leaving home.

There are so many times when I have to hold my breath…anger...hmmm and tongue to my husband just because we are surrounded with strangers and I am sure my beloved husband done same with me…I think more than I for him…

I vote for respect to your partner - whatever the situation.

If you choose them....you gotta live with it!

Bumped

So after Eid-ul-Adha…the time is for lots of marriages and Bar BQ parties. And I never turn down any BBQ party…hmmm….aahh…me and my eating habits…sigh…

And I recently bumped into my ex..hmm..

Someone I thought I quite 'love' - a long time ago or may be even now.

Actually….it's not really 'bumped' - it was kind of 'planned.'

Was at a BBQ organized by a cousin and I knew he would be invited.

At first I thought I should not go…anyway…I was there…of course I made lots of efforts to look 'good but casual' -

It's only a BBQ but…hmm….boy…..did I go through my entire wardrobe trying to find something that would look like I have absolutely not made any efforts!

hmm…saw him and slightly shy at first ( that's me - not sure about him) but….as we got chatting - or actually….it's more like as we all got talked at….it all came back! -

hmm….the reasons why we broke up...and how he told me that every thing I do…every action of mine…is just so irritatingly 'wrong' .

Of course….at the back of my mind - it's this constant nagging and 'question mark' about how and why and where I made the mistake which pissed him off…!

A far as I remembered...myself...holding on to his every words…thinking that he was really cool and friendly….lots of ideas and opinions - nothing he did was wrong. Seeing him would just made me smile.

I don't know how and when (in his eyes) my position shifted from sweetheart to reviler during the time we were together.

It was almost an overnight thing but it was like the sky suddenly opened up…something heavy dropped on his head…he lost his memory…and changed completely…

I once read somewhere that it's because we forgot to put "postage" on the eyes and therefore…got ourselves misposted to the wrong men/women.

It's funny though how we often think we've met the right person….wanted to give them the moon….the stars…the love…the heart…and everything until the day we split up - and realised how unlucky we were to be with 'him/her.'

The lesson there is never say never and never ever say 'forever'...hmmm....

Well I am quite glad that we are no longer together but despite him being my ex - making the effort…to look 'good' was definitely the right thing to do….I guess…hmm….

Too short !

I am not conservative…hmm….or may be I am…. - well....I don't think I am.

But….there are certain things which I am just not able to get over.

And its about women apparel in the office building…

Sleeve less shirts….I mean very deep sleeve less shirts….or very short skirts or hot pants during office hours - matched with stiletto heels!

I can't tell anymore if it's a very wide belt or just an extremely sleeveless shirt!

This morning…(hmm….I envy all those who were enjoying their time at home while me lonely person was working alone….not exactly alone…I had three other young colleagues…in between I consider Brian D’ Souza as my PET)…. and as I walked into the office building….my eyes were exposed to high amounts of 'flesh' and it just didn't feel quite right.

If it had been my own colleague I would have given her my white dupatta to cover her up…since we were having strong Air Conditioning in the office….but she turned to the other building which means she is working in some other nearby office…but she left we wondering…

I think we have moved quite far from matching power suits to 'casual but professional' in the last few years but….the current 'office fashion' around town certainly takes it all to a new height.

Well….maybe I am conservative after all. But I don't think mixing weekend and beach wear with work fashion is 'appropriate'...

Since….my mother used to say….hmm….'some things are best left covered – otherwise….our men will have nothing left to the imagination' …..

By the way did I mention that there is a big…fat…and quite ugly lizard in our Office kitchen?

And I am the poor one who can’t live without tea….hmmm…..

Marriage Bed

I don't know if it's just me…hmmmmm…if it runs in the family or if it's just something that happens when one hits a certain age.

When I was young-er...hmmm....I used to think that it's really quite 'romantic' to share a bed with someone we love.

But now….I am very particular about my bed….which side of the bed I hop in and which side I hop out…where the alarm clock sits….where pillows will lay and how they are set up.

And...sharing my bed - hmmm….I kind a don't like that at all. I can't really get a good sleep sharing bed with anyone...hmm....

I am conscious of every movement…the slight snoring….the breathing and the 'limited space' for any stretching.

When I was really young….we used to visit our ancestral home where my great grandpa and my 2 great grandmas lived with a 'million' other relatives.

We used to have to go from greatgrandpa's room to greatgrandma No1 and then greatgrandma No2 during summer holidays…then it was our duty to visit all three in the morning to pay respect.

All three of them had big beds in reasonable-sized bedrooms. All three sleeping separately. I remembered asking mom why they all had individual rooms…and mom's reply was - That's what old people do.

My grandpa and grandma were the same - they both slept separately. At that time….the young naive romantic me thought to myself that I would never ever sleep in separate rooms/bed with my husband - NEVER!

hmmmmm... I am not so sure now. I think a good night sleep is important. Having someone fidgeting left….right and centre beside me ruin it.

I am begining to believe that mom is probably right. – OLD people need to sleep in separate beds/rooms - so that they can have proper rest!

A friend of mine told me that he sleeps much better and straight through the night when he is on business trips in a hotel compared to when he is at home as he is a light sleeper and every little move that his wife made will 'disturb' him. He really quite enjoys sleeping in hotel beds - the Westin 'heavenly' beds are apparently the best!

I think…a good night's sleep is the most important thing ever. Maybe it's not just 'old' people.

Maybe young people never quite realised that actually....it's all just social conventions and norms that can be broken - who says marriage couple must share a bed?

Sleeping in separate rooms/beds does not prevent us from leading 'normal' marriage life.

In fact..hmm...it might do wonder for 'the happiness' barometer. A good night sleep means we are energetic...we are clear headed...we are happy ;;; :)...

Must try the Westin 'heavenly' bed sometime soon...hmmm….

I am Malika Bahar !

Now how a woman would feel when wherever she goes she takes spring with her...fill the air with scent?

How lovely it is to have such charm and personality that spring is a constant attribute everyone relates to you?

How fascinating it is just to think of getting at once the whole attention of your surrounding by just arriving between them….?

So I am Malika Bahar !

1: I can ask for long vacations from my manager…capture by my charm…he without any hesitation sign my vacation request….to him…a smile…hmm....would be life time provision.

2: If I stand at the bus stop every big...air conditioned car stops by me and wait on me to get my attention..hmmm…to them…a ride…would be life time provision.

3: In family gatherings…when I about to take entry the whole hall suddenly broke into shouts of my praise…Spring is here…Spring has come… hhmm....as they see the flowers starts blooming and there is a breeze of fresh scented air everywhere…to them...my presence…would be life time provision.

4: When I finally reach in the hall they…leave their seat to see my resplendent face and world-adorning beauty(except my mother as I know she would not sustain anything for me whatever I become) everyone bow down and fight to reach for my hand….to them…a touch…would be life time provision.

5: When I visit my In-Laws….hmmm....they all cry out loudly…and say…”we are your admirers and followers....we are ready to sacrifice ourselves like moths on the burning taper of your resplendent aspect. Show us favour in our miserable condition. Admit us into your servitude, O Dear one! Augment our honor by allowing us to wait upon you.”…to them…YES....would be life time provision.

6: When I come back home…beautiful moonlike girl workers spread an ermine carpet on the floor…they welcome me and request to take my place on jewel-encrusted bed with lamps and bouquets placed before me. They help me dress a luxurious night gown covered with jewels and held a hot chocolate cup besides my bed whole night waited on me if I needed anything else…to them…my sleep…..would be life time provision.

hmm....do I have to tell you...that...I am (alas) not or can’t be (which I doubt) Malika Bahar at all....?

But just think....what if I am Malika Bahar....what would you as a Malika Bahar reader be doing right now?...hmm....?

Inspired by character Malika Bahara taken from Tilism-e-Hoshruba is an epic narrative of the adventures of the legendary Persian hero Emir Hamza—the protagonist of Hamza Nama—his sons and grandsons. The epic opens with the commander-in-chief of the Islamic army, Hamza, pursuing Laqa, who makes false claims to divinity.

Aided by powerful allies and beset at every step by magical snares, dangerous enchantments and seductive sorceresses, the Islamic army finally conquers Hoshruba.

Malika Bahar was at first enemy but when she see the truth and spirit of Muslims...she on the promise to herself that after the war between evil and truth she will renounced her magic...joined the Muslim army and fought with them.

She has the spell of BAHAR (spring)...she takes spring with her...she throws the bouquets in the air to spell the magic on the enemy...she never needs army since everyone get spell bound to her only on her arrival in between them. She was smart and intelligent and knows how to play her cards.