Saturday, July 9, 2011

Grudges



In an ideal world there would be peace; a life of contentment and complete satisfaction.

There would be no bitterness...no grudges....no problem.

We would all get on with each other...never have a crossed word...always have a smile and a cheerful greeting.

But no one lives in an ideal world...no matter how much they'd like to think they do.

I knew someone once who told me she and her husband "never" argued.

I didn't believe that for a minute; he was particularly arrogant and she idolised him so I guessed she was stretching the truth somewhat.

I've never been one to argue; confrontation to me is pointless and usually results in falling out... holding a grudge or finding yourself on the slippery slope of bitterness.

Not a nice place to be.

I don't have many personal friends; most of my friendships are online and many are with people I'll never meet in person.

But I do hold all my friends in high regard and value each one.

Holding a grudge is like pressing the pause button on ones life.

When I got divorced in 2004....it wasn't because we fell out...it wasn't even because we didn't love each other anymore.

We simply drifted apart even though I still loved him and cared a great deal about him.

He went to live on his own, started a new life.

And all I missed was our friendship.

He moved on faster than I did...let me be honest....and I blamed myself for that.

I can’t say that I did nothing wrong to trigger a break up.

Though…as far he desired I was not at all compatible enough to be his wife…

But what is so comforting about that part of my life is after he left me...I understand ME…

....hmmm....what I want and what kind of people would love and respect me and knowing that if I don't move on with my live too....then what hope is there for the future.

hmmm.....
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17 comments:

  1. Asma KhanJuly 9, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    I think never arguing is not a sign for any successful relationship, yes of course arguing but not letting down to win the conversation on a particular thought, as we win the words of war but lose relationship... :)
    Best wishes for You :)
    Stay Blessed

    ReplyDelete
  2. hamaarethoughts.comJuly 10, 2011 at 4:08 AM

    lovely music....nice voice Madam Noor jahan...
    Arguing will lead to a bad taste ending up in a broken relationship...people keep distance frm argumentative people and try not to get into conversation...

    ReplyDelete
  3. R. RameshJuly 10, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    simply luv this post..cheers friend..

    ReplyDelete
  4. R. RameshJuly 10, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    know what..u r a good person and am sure Allah will help u get the best in life...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cloud NineJuly 10, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Argh! I never knew you so personally. Dear friend, life is too precious to be left waste nursing grudges:( May be your ex has shown you that you deserve someone better, someone with better line of understanding, someone who can perfectly sync with you! Good luck till then friend. God Bless!

    ReplyDelete
  6. sober-meJuly 11, 2011 at 4:39 AM

    Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point ... they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rehan QayoomJuly 11, 2011 at 8:21 AM

    Oh, I though the Noor Jehan song would be 'Mujh sei pehli si mohabbat ...'

    Thank You so much for your comments over on my blogspot, really appreciate your taking the time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Shahid MajeedJuly 11, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    Even with all those grudges, difference and confrontations life is good, its the best gift we have from God. Hope for a better and peaceful life for you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Akhtar Wasim DarJuly 11, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    The ideal world lives in us, and we love that world and don’t let that ideal world be shared with others. Our friends and our loved ones who live outside in the real world do not share our ideal world, we only live with their selective memories in the ideal world, which we approve and we do not want anyone to share these memories of our ideal world.

    ReplyDelete
  10. smJuly 12, 2011 at 2:26 AM

    its tough to realize what we want

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  11. R. RameshJuly 12, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. connie nashJuly 14, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    What an engaging topic for discussion as usual.

    I will have to consider this again to have a meaningful response.

    Meantime, for the first time I'm confused about Dar Sahib's response: ie, I don't know what is the conclusion if any for him...Dar Sahib, how do you advise any connections between the 'ideal world' and the 'real world' or do you? Yet as usual, also so thought-provoking...

    Thinking, I've a letter sent your way in 'slow time' so be looking for it plz.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ThinkingJuly 15, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    hmmm...Dear All....

    I am blessed to have you all....believe me.

    Thank you so much for your kind comments and thank you so much for coming and spending time here.

    I am honored.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Muhammad TabishJuly 21, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    Its really true,sometimes broken relationships teach us more about ourselves and where we stand!

    ReplyDelete
  15. JackJuly 22, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Thinking,

    Any two individuals will have some difference of opinion and it is only when they resolve it with open logical communication the relation strengthens. In true love one should accept partner what he or she is and not try to change him or her as per own liking.

    Take care

    PS : Sorry to know about what you have gone through but have faith and courage to be what you truly believe yourself to be.

    ReplyDelete
  16. ThinkingJuly 30, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    Jack

    You are too good in commenting in the RELATIONSHIP matters....

    And I admire your every comment on such posts....

    Thanks alot for coming and giving me your time. I am honored.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ThinkingAugust 1, 2011 at 1:48 AM

    hmmm.. Muhammad Tabih...

    Sorry I left your comment....I am honored to hav you on my blog and thanks for yoour time....

    ReplyDelete

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