Charlotte...again !

There is a term in writing…”Don’t tell….Show”

If I like you to know that there is thunder storm about to hit the city….I can’t just write that there is thunder storm coming…

I would rather write:

Though it was dark all around….I could see his face time to time by the lightning of sky…and every light followed by the thunder sound scared me too much to clutch his hands….we couldn’t balanced ourselves because of the strong air moving in between…sometimes I have to lean on his shoulders to keep walking…we have to reach for some shelter….may be he was too busy in his reasoning to even noticed me throwing my whole weight on him… suddenly…I felt something moistening our hands grip….and within seconds I realized that rain has begun….

How you like it?

I think you got the picture well….yeah???

In this way I will take you to my imaginations…but never will let you go away with your own…

...when reading a novel you got paralyzed totally dependent on the writer…..you can’t make decisions…you can’t imagine…you have to close the book if it is the end…no matter how differently you wanted it to be….but it’s not your choice.

The extra ordinary feature of Charlotte Bronte’s writing is….she not even entrapped you in her imaginations but also let you go away with your own too….

So many times in her novel you will find yourself wondering from here to there to find exact match to fulfill your desires too…and she….never mind.

In “Jan Eyre”….this isn’t a scene…..but….I’d like to see the portraits that Jane paints….

One of Blanche Ingram and one of herself….I’d like to see how she sees herself….and how she painted her rival.

The most amazing fact was that Jane while painting those pictures didn't even consider herself as a rival to Ingram.

Now…imagine…if you are giving a choice to paint yourself and your rival….how would you go about that?

Ingram…a beautiful…rich….confident woman….noticed by Rochester…

Jane seen her….having good time with Rochester….totally agreed that Ingram would soon be the Mrs. Rochester…

Jane had no hopes...but why than she painted both her and Ingram same time?

Ahh…it’s always heart breaking to have your rival front of you…having fun and good time with your loved one…

....and acknowledging that you doesn't stand a single chance....hmmm....

With Him !

Today…hmmm….

His mother…brother….and I visited him.

It should not have been too surprising that there were others too who were visiting their loved ones as well.

I watched some people cluster…. hovering over random mounds of mud…..

“Must be a new entry….” His brother said….I gave fade smile….

I wondered what their stories were.

So we walk to the usual spot….and it's the 10th time I see his name engraved on a steel plate on a flat rock.

Grass had grown on what was once fresh earth.

One may say this was our 11th year without him.

And today again….we were there….

With him....hmm.....

To People I love !

This is for all the people / fellow blogger who are visiting me and commenting on my blog regularly but might be not finding me on their blogs as I usually used to be...

But...dear all....don't worry....I will soon shower my attention on you too....hmm....

Look at the year 2011....we seem to be racing towards the end of July at break-neck speed that one feels as though life wishes us to forget that TIME ever existed.

When did the days start going so quickly?

When did we jump into a chorus of "Happy New Year" only to wake up and find ourselves buying barbecue spare ribs?

Perhaps it's simply a sign of age; growing up does strange things to us as life has a habit of running away and we find it impossible to catch up.

It's just one of the reasons why I prefer to make the most of every day.

Before they all start to mingle into one...I'd like to remember what I did on Monday and where I was on Tuesday morning.

I'd like to wake up on a Friday morning and before I start looking forward to my Saturday night fish and chips....I can remind myself that the weekend hasn't quite begun.

No matter how hard life becomes...hmmm....how often you feel like throwing in the towel....there's always another day to look forward to.

There has to be hope....no matter what.

If your glass is half full you can always look upwards.

As we get older our experiences will inevitably increase and our lives become richer.

So often I hear people complain about turning "30" and how they might hibernate once they become "40".

I even spoke to someone recently who was genuinely upset at becoming "21". I couldn't believe it.

Time goes too quickly to worry about how old you are...hmmm....

Embrace your age and remember that with it comes knowledge...understanding and....in some cases....a bit of authority.

Can't be that bad can it?!

It's life.

And personally....I'd rather get old than not.....hmmm...hold it...

I was suppose to write few words to you all...my dear fellow blogger....my friends...the people who read me but never mark their presence...and the people who come by accidently...but...end up with a whole blog post...hmmm....

Thanks for bearing me...and I am honored to have you all on my blog. Thank you so much.

Precious !

“What would you like to take with you if one day you have to elope with the man you love?”

Bill Cosby asked a girl of 6 years….she mumbled for few seconds and blurted out….

“My Mother !”

And so I started thinking….about which items I would take with me if I had to leave my house in an emergency…hmm….

I must have changed my mind a thousand times which eventually encouraged me to go to sleep.

But still….it got me to thinking about people who really do have this scenario and how hard it must be to choose just a few precious items out of hundreds that you own.

This is my list:

1: My Diary:

She is the only thing that I have owned since I was five years old. She goes absolutely everywhere with me.

You may find it really hard to believe but she sleeps with me every night....goes on holiday with me....has stayed in hospital with me and is never forgotten.

2: A photo of my family….their faces are permanently etched in my mind….but their eyes have such an incredible presence that I never fail to feel loved when I look into them.

3. My beloved husband.

Over to you….hmmm….what three things would you take with you –

Just the items personal to you only…hmmm….if you blog it….let me know then I can come over and read it.

Wonderlegs

Some of you may know about my intense fear of spiders...hmmm...

Any other creepy crawlies (apart from ants) don't bother me even though I could never touch any with my bare hands.

I have...on occasions....skipped a shower or a bath because they have been graced with the presence of one of these fly-eating creatures.

Should I have one in my bedroom it is always the Beloved Husband who is called to the rescue.

I am afraid my ridiculous phobia seems to have been passed to me from my mother.

Not something I am proud of...hmmm....

There have been the odd times when I have felt so overwhelmed with bravery that I have gathered half a toilet roll in which to capture the terrifyingly hideous sight but it has to be an exceptionally small beasty in order for me to undertake such an act.

The vacuum cleaner has also been known to suck a few up but as I prefer not to kill them this is usually a last resort.

Some of the spiders in this house....I can confidently say....shop at English Boot House Shop.

I would recognize their clogged footsteps anywhere and I do wonder if they take advantage of an empty house whilst trying my shoes.

Perhaps I should have CCTV installed just to eliminate possible spider activity;

However....without further ado....and before I have another nightmare...I must tell you what happened on tonight.

Whilst sat up in my beloved bed watching… (Sorry can’t tell you what I was watching….).

I heard a rather strange commotion coming from the room to my left.

Having already seen the beloved husband running around I assumed the noises were being made by him.

I lent towards the door...half in-half out of bed...calling to him...and just as my head turned a fraction back towards the right....there it was

1: a big
2: huge
3: monstrous
4: tarantula sized
5: 12 legged

....black spider......strolling casually away from me....on the pillow.

"Baahhhh!" I screamed....funny you didn't hear me...hmmmm.....

I certainly scared wonderlegs....as off she shot...down the back of the bed.

In a split second I found myself stood at the foot of the bed...my legs having frozen...my head unable to move whilst my eyes were on stalks...doing a light fandango around the bed.

After 5 minutes...probably giving the spider enough time to report back to base...I set about stripping the bed.

“Watching....that”….didn't seem that important anymore.

The tarantula's older brother was of course nowhere to be seen and I reluctantly put the bed back together again...my eyes almost assuming their natural position.

But now I had a problem...hmm...where had the 15 legged creature from the abyss disappeared to?

It seemed to have vanished into the ether and I needed to go to bed.

Sitting at the foot of the bed I pondered my dilemma and came up with a cunning plan.

I would sleep in the living room.

The Beloved husband could have the spider infested bed to himself and once the spider had decided to come out from hiding...she could keep him company.

One “venturesome” on the bed is better than none at all.

And if I do ever see that 20 legged tormentor again...I won't think twice about reaching for the vacuum.

If it thinks it can get away with exhibiting itself on my bed...it has its death coming.

....hhhmmmm.....

Grudges

In an ideal world there would be peace; a life of contentment and complete satisfaction.

There would be no bitterness...no grudges....no problem.

We would all get on with each other...never have a crossed word...always have a smile and a cheerful greeting.

But no one lives in an ideal world...no matter how much they'd like to think they do.

I knew someone once who told me she and her husband "never" argued.

I didn't believe that for a minute; he was particularly arrogant and she idolised him so I guessed she was stretching the truth somewhat.

I've never been one to argue; confrontation to me is pointless and usually results in falling out... holding a grudge or finding yourself on the slippery slope of bitterness.

Not a nice place to be.

I don't have many personal friends; most of my friendships are online and many are with people I'll never meet in person.

But I do hold all my friends in high regard and value each one.

Holding a grudge is like pressing the pause button on ones life.

When I got divorced in 2004....it wasn't because we fell out...it wasn't even because we didn't love each other anymore.

We simply drifted apart even though I still loved him and cared a great deal about him.

He went to live on his own, started a new life.

And all I missed was our friendship.

He moved on faster than I did...let me be honest....and I blamed myself for that.

I can’t say that I did nothing wrong to trigger a break up.

Though…as far he desired I was not at all compatible enough to be his wife…

But what is so comforting about that part of my life is after he left me...I understand ME…

....hmmm....what I want and what kind of people would love and respect me and knowing that if I don't move on with my live too....then what hope is there for the future.

hmmm.....

Deceit

I overheard he said,” what a dude he is, I used him, and he happily obliged not knowing how I was using him"

For several moments I lost total orientation of the world and felt if something has crashed inside me, shattering to pieces what I was made of. Moments later when I recollected the event and the fragments I came to realize that the world was still in its place, sun was shining, breeze blowing, people in the street hustling and bustling, children smiling with innocent charm and clinging to their mothers.

I thought and felt relieved that I was used by a fellow human being a friend for his excessive motives that raised in him due to his lack of empathy, but I also felt distressed for him thinking that who used him to that inconsiderate behavior, was that some other person or the forces we call devilish.

Blog Hobby

I think if you really enjoy doing something and you really get out of it what you put in...hmm....that you should carry on and enjoy yourself in the process.

Well that something for me...is blogging.

I guess I'm a little addicted to it.

Some might say I'm obsessed with it...hmm....

Especially my beloved husband and my mother....neither of whom understand blogging at all.

But because I thoroughly enjoy it....I shall carry on until the day arrives when I no longer get pleasure from hitting that "publish" button.

There would have been a time when I'd have listened to other people and taken their opinions on board;

hmmm....maybe even agreed with them when they classed me as an oddball who has 'no life'.

But now? Now I laugh at them and say "it's my life, deal with it."

I'd never disrespect my family of course but we all have to do something in our lives that we enjoy.

There are many people who's hobbies take them away from every day life....sometimes even causing a rift....but blogging isn't one of them.

The beauty of the blog is that one can switch it on and off whenever one feels like it.

Life isn't a bed of roses all the time....there will always be parts of our existence that we wish didn't happen....but in a blog we can talk about it.

People can advise us....make suggestions....lift our spirits and help us reach decisions.

Before blogging....I had to do all that myself.

Does blogging make us lazy in finding solutions to the problems we face?

I guess in some ways it probably does....but it's so nice to share our thoughts with others....to ask for help.

For me....it's one of the best feelings in the world to know that someone out there is going through the same as you....whether that be something good or bad.

It's a consolation that we're never alone. Blogging has taught me that.

It's shown me a world outside the little corner in which I live and it's made me realise that no matter what happens in life....there will always be someone who will understand.