I am not happy with the previous one.
He is so…so…I mean he don’t lie and tell us whatever is going on with my mum straight forwardly which sometimes makes my mums disease scary and scared me…even most of the time make me cry.
I just called few of my contacts who can choose or get me name of other better doctors in the city and also can get me their appointments and few doctors which I think are really good and can help my mum too in a better way.
Even then there are a few little things that piqued my concern…like…
- Whether the new doctor would be able to deal my mum’s old disease and how much time he would need to understand all her problems and when he going to start…I mean literally start her medication…
- Is it cheating on the previous one…I mean letting him down for other better bigger name….our leaving him will become a news in his circle and every other doctor would know that his patient left him because of his lack of experience and service…
- Am I eligible enough to make choices for my mum...
However I looked at every other minor detail. I know he's a great doctor....but I can't help but think may be there is one much better then him out there.
Maybe I should look around more....hmmm
Then I realized something:
This is exactly how I treat every aspect of my life…from routine selection of things to jobs and to meeting people.
I always think maybe there's someone or something better out there. Maybe I'm settling for less than I can have and can find much better.
Everyone wants to maximize their happiness at the least amount of cost and risk to themselves.
How do we foresee the future?
How do we know anything for sure?
Every decision we make seems to involve some risk…some chance for failure and misery.
And that thought is so terrifying to me that it makes me hesitate before making a choice.
So the saying goes "he who hesitates is lost."
But if I decide on the other doctor and then find him not better then the previous one later on…I'd kill myself.
What to do? hmmm
Of course I know I shouldn't let my fears paralyze me from making choices.
And sometimes I have to have a faith on ALLAH that things will work out in the end.
Even........if it is a little scary.