If I were Perfect !

This thought came into my mind when I was on the Bangkok trip with my colleagues to attend a workshop.

We, three girls were sharing one room and every morning we leave our messy room...me...I always forget to make my bed... forgot to put my wet towel on the rack so that it can dry... my slippers could be found in a way that if one is the north corner of the room then other must be found on the south corner.

Every evening when we came back exhausted and tired... we found every thing on its exact place... Room service always made our beds behind us...clean and put everything on its exact place. I was so spoiled that I didn't even sometimes recall that if I left my slipper departed like India and Pakistan how and when and who has united them again....hmm

I have wished so much recently that I could find a way to have a spotlessly clean...organised and well decorated home. Serve delicious and elaborate meals on time three times a day to my beloved husband...spend necessary time on Internet while at same time not in anyway neglecting my relationship with my MAKER.

I wish I could get out of bed every morning at 5 a.m. to a clean home. I wish I could shower...dress...and fix my hairs before my beloved husband wakes up. I wish I could spend a solid hour of interrupted time reciting QURAN before I begin my day.

I wish I could have the house all perfectly cleaned and in order by 7 a.m, every morning. I wish that the laundry and dishes magically washed themselves and put themselves away.

I wish that I never said an unkind word or had an unkind thought. I wish that I would never disappoint my mother in law. I wish that I could spend all say everyday playing with my nieces and nephews. I wish I were never tired and had a endless energy all the time. I wish I could live on three hours sleep or less every night.

hmmm....long list of wishes....and instead....

I am just ME....hmm

My house is often messy and always in need of some type of cleaning. I am always behind in some area. I never get to spend as much time playing or reading as I'd like.

I am forever behind on the ironing. My beloved husband comes home some night and find me exhausted...the house is messy...dinner is only a figment of my imagination and I am still in my bad mood.

I often say and do things to my mother and mother in law that I regret later. I fail in some area on an everyday basis and can easily become discouraged and overwhelmed.

Yes.....most of the time....I wish.... I were PERFECT.

But...then....I realize that if I were perfect...

I'd never have anything to trust ALLAH about.

I'd never need anyone to pray for me.

I'd never need anyone's help.

I'd never have to cry out to ALLAH for mercy when I'd failed yet again.

I'd never need comfort from the QURAN.

And I'd never know the depths of God's grace and mercy to one so undeserving as me.

hmm...so the bottom point is....its ok if I am NOT PERFECT....hmmm.....beside we have our PERFECT ALLAH to take care of our unperfectness...hmm