Just Chill

My elder sister visited my mother few days back….and told me at the end of the trip that I am officially 'old with a lot of pent up frustrations! '...Why?

hmm...she officially declared that I am not able to chill anymore.

Ok...ok...ok..I confess…I can't chill when I stuck on the road in our small office van due to traffic jam everyday for about 4 hours.

I have to mentally prepare for not being able to stretch - I have to mentally prepare for who will be sitting beside me - I have to be 'territorial' about space. I am no longer 25 years old and the bone is just slightly creaky...and I can’t talk non-stop everyday for these 4 hours straight and as well can’t listen to people all over me (it seems though they all keep their distance) for these 4 hours everyday.

I can't chill when on a bus (public transport) no one checks in their luggages and chickens..ducks...ham get lugged onboard alongside super size trunks...and cartons of bricks!

And want me to give them space to sit besides me with all their stuff.

I can't chill when rikhshaw drivers challenge me about where I am going and tell me I should have crossed the road to pick a rikhshaw because of the direction I am going

- NO - I want you to do a U Turn - just drive!!

I can't chill when in a non-smoking restaurant….customers are allowed to smoke because the waiter/waitresses are too scared and not properly trained to manage the situation instead they give me lesson about how to use their crockery.

I can't quite chill when I am not sure where I am going whenever I am driving my mother as she always have a definite plan before leaving home and once we get ourselves inside the car she always seems to forget that PLAN…and poor me forcefully being asked to ‘Don’t ask…too many question….JUST DRIVE’…on a daily basis.

It's not me... ahh…believe me - I am sure it's not me..

hmm- check me…in these conditions…early morning…when people are still in their bed…give me a chair to be seated…a cup of coffee put me in front of sea...

...hmm....and I can show you CHILLLLL...

The Exceptional

I am not here to sell Waheed Murad..hmm....

So I will not talk about his rise and fall during his acting and production career though this rise and fall is common in Performing Art Industry.

What I am to talk about here is that he was exceptional in every way…besides his best acting, he was accomplished producer, a good friend and a good human being.

What made him exceptional is his far sightedness on topics he chooses for the movies under his production.

Which was of course not been noticed by the audiences but since he touched the common man with the topics which united them before as well and in result the beloved Pakistan emerged....he readily captured the audience.

Intentionally or unintentionally he choose the subjects related to the history or present state of Pakistan or its people and this made his movies being readily accepted by every class.

Have you ever listen to any of his movie song as National songs or song which relate to the present state of Pakistan or may be related to the history of Pakistan?

Have you notice the point at which you feel yourself united with your brethren while listening to any of the songs from Waheed Murad movie and have you ever get a chance to listen to the song while imagining the Pakistan’s present state?

If you have not…than let me give your imagination powers one more world to ponder in and where your conscience will love to wander…

Listen to the song I am giving a link below:



And consider the wordings:

Ek naye moor pay lay aye hain halaat mujhay
Dil nay jo mangi wohi mill gayee soghat mujhay

Door rah ker bhi khayaloon mein mere pass ho tum
Kitnay pyaray hain yeah jazbaat yeah lamhaat mujhay

Dil mein ek ajnabi ehsaas key khushboo jagi
Ajj lagty hay her ek baat nayee baat mujhay

Tum kabhi khud ko meri ankhon say chup ker daikho
Kia kahoon tum mein nazr atty hay kia baat mujhay

Now close your eyes and consider the feelings of sub-continent’s Muslim who are dreaming about their new state where they will have the freedom of their choice…where they can pursue their dreams their own way…where they will have the freedom of performing best in their religion…where they can earn the production and where they can get the share in Government.

The wording of the above song exactly match the feelings of the Sub-Continent Muslim who are at the verge of making decision to migrate to their new born state.

Its Waheed Murad’s Death Anniversary on Wednesday, 23 November …

I want to dedicate this song to him and want to salute the artist for bringing the Pakistani Cinema the lustre and shine it lacked before him joining the party.

May Allah rest his soul in peace. Ameen.

Note: Please visit these blogs to read how other tributes Waheed Murad:

Current Affairs with Tariq Mian Sahib

Khurram's Desk

IQBAL-ISM

Impressions and Perceptions

Caravan of Light

Unity in Universe

Rumi, Iqbal and Me

Selfless Devotion

The Discovery

The Republic of Rumi

hmm....

Chatting

I confess that I am not at all like my mother and elder sisters. They all are very sensitive…good cook…perfect house keeper…understanding neighbour…all the time accommodative women…more like mentor to younger people.

I literally get embarrassed on my ~easy going way~ to entertain guests…where they always have to take prior appointment to visit my house…hmm....considered as ‘not very friendly’ in neighbourhood and always blurted out bluntly something to younger people to shoo them away…

How I missed those “the good old days” as my mother always start the story with same exclamation…one of the things I love best about hearing tales of “the good old days” is the camaraderie between neighbours and the kinship that linked generations.

Little girls learned how to be women simply by being with the women in their lives.

Cooking…keeping house…taking care of babies — all the ins and outs of womanhood were learned as a matter of course…simply by one generation absorbing these things from previous ones.

This old-fashioned...front-porch style of passing on values and skills seems lost on me.

May be because I am simply too busy to be involved in other’s lives and because I am a very scattered person...hmmm....

I live hours — or even days — away from my mother and my beloved husband family.

I have more technology at my fingertips than previous ones ever dreamt possible; email...instant messaging...texting and cell phones all enable me to keep in touch with loved ones...literally at the touch of a button.

Yet I am more emotionally distant and withdrawn from those around me than generations past.

How many times I try to find out more about my next-door neighbours than their first names?

How many times have I invited friends from office into my home?

And then I think about it…why?

Since we have lost the ‘connectedness’ of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers….somehow the PERFECT WOMAN picture has been suddenly change to the one projected by Hollywood…Bollywood and not the least Lollywood…

You know what I’m talking about..hmm...

The illusion that real womanhood revolves around keeping up on the latest fashions...perfect figure..filling your home with designer furniture...driving expensive vehicles...having picture-perfect kids and a successful....mannequin-handsome husband.

If anyone finds their visitor/relative/colleague or friend to-be lives falling short of this picture-perfect scenario they discard further meetings.

And that is what making me distant from people around me…I don’t have PERFECT LIVING and PERFECT HOUSE or PREFECT WAYS to invite people…I don’t have perfect ways to become a friend… makes me shy away from people.

It’s too “risky” to ask people over for dinner. They might criticize my imperfections and it’s easier just to keep everyone a safe distance away.

The thought that perhaps some of the younger girls in my circle of friendship might like to spend some time in MY company probably doesn’t even enter my mind.

I mean…teenagers don’t like the types of things I like — they probably think I’m an old…worn-out fogey…(which I highly doubt)anyway.

I am a self-contained….self-absorbed woman and like a plant with shallow roots…I will withers on the vine.

Anyways…I love one definition of a mentor: “Someone farther down the path then you...who is going where you want to go....and who is willing to give you some light to help you get there”.

Accordingly…we can all be a mentor to someone.

So who can I invite for a little front porch chat this week?

hmm...anyone interested?

Show some respect !

I and beloved husband were waiting for a lift whilst waiting….a couple joined me...hmm...

A very young….quite attractive woman and a middle aged man.

She was holding on to his little finger -- quite affectionately.

She couldn't stop talking - in quite a fast mode and very high pitch (rather annoying)....he was all quiet....looking very stern and expressionless-

hmm...and then....the lift door open and he very abruptly and loudly said "KEEP QUIET" ....

At that moment…we (me and my beloved husband looked at each other) must have exhibit some kind of expression which I think annoyed the girl…..but my actual response was to kick the man - for being rude to his " wife" ... not sure what my beloved husband had in mind…

hmmm...I admit….she was noisy and I would have liked for her to stop talking but….that I thought was absolutely disrespectful.

She shut up immediately and still held on to his little finger. His face was still expressionless - slightly charcoal black....she seemed oblivious to it all....

I guess some people can't put up with lots and maybe he's in a bad mood and maybe... she's just really noise and needs to be told off!

I remember once I was in a shop and at the payment bar…the husband when he didn’t find his credit card in his wallet started shouting at his wife for not checking before leaving home.

There are so many times when I have to hold my breath…anger...hmmm and tongue to my husband just because we are surrounded with strangers and I am sure my beloved husband done same with me…I think more than I for him…

I vote for respect to your partner - whatever the situation.

If you choose them....you gotta live with it!

Bumped

So after Eid-ul-Adha…the time is for lots of marriages and Bar BQ parties. And I never turn down any BBQ party…hmmm….aahh…me and my eating habits…sigh…

And I recently bumped into my ex..hmm..

Someone I thought I quite 'love' - a long time ago or may be even now.

Actually….it's not really 'bumped' - it was kind of 'planned.'

Was at a BBQ organized by a cousin and I knew he would be invited.

At first I thought I should not go…anyway…I was there…of course I made lots of efforts to look 'good but casual' -

It's only a BBQ but…hmm….boy…..did I go through my entire wardrobe trying to find something that would look like I have absolutely not made any efforts!

hmm…saw him and slightly shy at first ( that's me - not sure about him) but….as we got chatting - or actually….it's more like as we all got talked at….it all came back! -

hmm….the reasons why we broke up...and how he told me that every thing I do…every action of mine…is just so irritatingly 'wrong' .

Of course….at the back of my mind - it's this constant nagging and 'question mark' about how and why and where I made the mistake which pissed him off…!

A far as I remembered...myself...holding on to his every words…thinking that he was really cool and friendly….lots of ideas and opinions - nothing he did was wrong. Seeing him would just made me smile.

I don't know how and when (in his eyes) my position shifted from sweetheart to reviler during the time we were together.

It was almost an overnight thing but it was like the sky suddenly opened up…something heavy dropped on his head…he lost his memory…and changed completely…

I once read somewhere that it's because we forgot to put "postage" on the eyes and therefore…got ourselves misposted to the wrong men/women.

It's funny though how we often think we've met the right person….wanted to give them the moon….the stars…the love…the heart…and everything until the day we split up - and realised how unlucky we were to be with 'him/her.'

The lesson there is never say never and never ever say 'forever'...hmmm....

Well I am quite glad that we are no longer together but despite him being my ex - making the effort…to look 'good' was definitely the right thing to do….I guess…hmm….