As soon as I asked the QUESTION she starts crying.
She put her head on my shoulder started with sobs which is ok for a bride to be...since it is obvious that she has already started missing her family and friends but soon the sobs became crying.
I get scared though I didn’t at all understand why she is crying like a baby but she continued and there was nothing in my hand to stop her.
I tried to console her…give her assurance that she will be ok…in her family-to-be…but somehow she was so hurt that none of my assuring comments calmed her.
She is my baby cousin…I know her since her childhood…darling of her daddy…since childhood she had a dream to become a Doctor.
She used to tell me that she wants to do something for poor…that some day she will open a hospital for needy who can’t afford medicine and treatment.
She will do it for them free…she was a very brilliant student…I saw her struggling in her medical studies…and when finally she held her degree her father arranged a Groom for her and today we were at her wedding.
Soon her mother came close and told me to join the other for dinner…so I have to leave her alone on the stage where she had to remain for the rest of the evening.
I looked at her from the dinner table after I took my plate to the corner and find her better…may be some of her siblings scold her for crying and that she is messing her make-up at this she stopped crying but remain somber.
hmm…what I have done so deplorable that affected her whole mood?
After Dinner…when guests were striving to sit besides the Bride and Groom to get in the movie…I went behind her…behind her sofa where I touched her shoulder from back.
She turned around and smiled.
"hmm....I am sorry…if I hurt you anyways…I didn’t mean it...and you know…. " I started...
"It’s ok…." she interrupted me and turned her back again to me…I stand behind her for a while…waited on her…she smiled to her husband and looked at her palm painted with beautiful design of henna…
For a brief moment there was a break…no one was there on the stage…Groom was standing aloof and Movie maker was arranging the group for the next photo session while she turned around…looked at me and smiled…
"I am so sorry dear…"...I started again.
"I told you its not you…" she again interrupted me.
"hmm....No...I know…there is something wrong…may be I shouldn't asked you anything like that…. " I somehow manage to explain a bit...
She again looked at me….and this time her tearful eyes stopped me….
"Actually it was not you or your question which hurts me…but…what hurts me is that YOU were the only person who asked me this question.
I waited on my husband-to-be to ask me the same question…his family…his friends…my family…my friends….
They do ask me so many questions…
1: What I can cook?
2: Whether I can cook or not?
3: What I like to eat…and so much more…
But no one ever asked me that whether I will start my house-job or not? "
It is true that we have broad our mind a lot….we now don’t mind working women…we never asked any girl why she wants to study after her Intermediate….and we never stare at the girls wearing uniforms going to their colleges in the morning.
But still….when a girl get married…she somehow has to ceased everything she has been doing in her single life.
There are lot of men who take month or more holidays to get marry…but a lot of women leaving their jobs because they are getting marry.
We still have long way to go…hmmm….
Contextual Notes to 'Smoke & Mirrors' - 'Smoke & Mirrors', (*A New Ulster*). Some notes were omitted from the book *About Time: Poems & Adaptations 1993 - 2012* due to the length of the ones that...
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