Monday, September 19, 2011

Judging a Heart !

As I came back with a glass of water for my mother....

I saw him…what shall I say…COMPLEX man talking calmly to my mother…or may be my mother was talking to him fondly.

I sat by them close to my mother but never looked at him…he was somewhere 40 and quite handsome too.

And then a nurse…the same nurse whom he bullied few moments ago in front of us…came and took him for further tests.

“Why you were talking to this COMPLEX and IRRITATED person…mother?”

As soon as he disappeared I asked my mum…

“Young lady…you are always ready to label people….which is not good….you should have decency to first know people…”

“Well…what else I need to know about him mother…?”

“I overheard him talking with the other patients…with Gruff…Negative…Tough-Guy Attitute….complaining about his job…in an economy where there are those who would love to have a job they hate…just to have a job…he was blurting about his job…”

“Hating every minute waiting here…that’s what he said…what else should I need to know about his attitude maa…?”

“And….yes…he joked to that nurse about how he’d wanted to punch the last nurse that started his tests…”

hmmm...I was mildly annoyed with his dramatic…pessimistic attitude.

And in a brief moment…with rolling eyes…

I judged him.
Such a simple action.
A moment in the mind.

I evaluate and I label and I measure.
By whose standards?

I had him all figured out from a few interactions.

This complex man of God.

Later my mother told me about his stressful life...

And heard my mother talked to me about words like
3:Evaluating for suicide.

My heart plummeted...hmm.....

How could I have been so wrong?

This wounded soul.

My mother said…” These were matters of the heart that a cardiologist couldn’t heal.”

“He is aching for love….wondering for his worth…”

“And you…young lady so quick to judge and slow to learn.

Sorrowed and softened by this new-found knowledge…I waited for him…he did returned and came forward hurriedly to my mother…requested for her blessings and gave me a ….smile…too.

hmm...this time I smiled back…look at his face tenderly…into his eyes.

Yet the lesson remains.

When I’m in a hurry…when I’m frustrated or annoyed…when I’m preoccupied with my own worries or pains…what wounded soul am I overlooking?

When I impulsively judge a person by their looks….their words….their actions…what wounded soul am I passing by?

Dear Allah above….help me to obey your command not to judge….


  1. you dont need to worry since this is human nature to judge people however he deserve an appology from you. what to say? actual realization is when you feel like applogizing for your misbehaving with others otherwise there is no point ranting about it on your blog with dual identity.

  2. What a deep heart your mother has to be so outside her own needs to see the depth of others. I see you following in her path.

    Now that our family is more settled and I am back from trips I expect to be able to be here for my friends at RR more...especially you.

    Your work here and the post below are beautifully nuanced and transparent...both of these qualities are among your trademarks and yet let's also add variety as in Goethe's understanding of colors.

  3. A human being is judged on the basis of his/her actions because actions reflect mental processes. But it could be decieving and the onlookers may misjudge such person.
    Therefore it is only God Almighty who knows for sure what's going on. Intention of someone is never seen with utmost clarity by the human binoculars.
    However, we have some ability to evaluate someone on the basis of true colours.
    Let’s always think carefully before labelling someone.

    THINKING, let me give A+ for your post.

  4. Thinking, you excel in anecdotes and you always take the brunt of the negative force but we know that this is because you want to portray others as winners.

  5. Thank you for your comment on my blog...

    I so agree with this post..we are so so quick to judge...and that is so so so short-hearted... So, thank you for this too... xx

    PS it is beautifully written...

  6. ya it is always good not to fall into judgments:)

  7. To quickly judge and then step back and rethink and learn....that is wisdom....enjoyed your work

  8. Thinking,

    We all judge a persons by his or her immediate actions or behaviour without looking for causes of the same. That thinking comes with growing up. We need to understand reasons rather than only actions.

    Take care

    PS : Caught up with all pending posts and left comments from Happy Anniversary onwards.

  9. This is something we all do at times...awareness of our behavior is the key change...your assumptions were understandable from what you observed, yet there is always more that we don't know, than what we think we do know. Do not be so harsh to judge yourself either, still, I pray that like you, I too will soften in my judgements of others and grow to be a more compassionate person. Gentle steps.

  10. and when i sit back with all those negative thoughts about people humming my mind ; i think the same way. Whats that specific thing that i was missing. If that person is so annoying everytime what went wrong with his or her life that made him or her such a pestering soul . hmmm . When we would learn; with gray hair or with strong senses!!!?

  11. Dear All....

    Thanks you so much for coming. I am honored.

  12. Judging people, is second nature. Even when we know it's wrong, we still do it. We look at someone differently and categorized them. We're humans and God understands that. Judging someone shouldn't stop you from getting to know someone, put yourself in their positions and overlook their flaws.

  13. Dear Kimberly

    Thanks for coming and I am honored.