What I have done ?

It is always been with me that whenever I try to be busy with something and want to give my full attention to that only important something....something else very urgent came along...hmm....

I know I know I know...what about MULTITASKING?

Yes...I know about it but doesn't this another something urgent always depress you...like you are not giving your full attention to your “very important thing”.

And this burdens your heart and mind that you are actually not faithfully completing whatever you were suppose to do...hmmm....

And there are days when I don't have a single tiny winy thing to divert my whole energy to...and then usually I have a fly catcher in my hand staring at the computer screen whole day long nothing special to write or to read.

During the Holy month of Ramadan....

I made the following THINGS TO DO List:

1: I will try to revive the long forgotten relationship with my LORD....that this month I will devout myself to religion only...

2: I will try to recite Quran Sharif (Holy Book) at least half hour everyday...

3: I will pray devotedly....

4: I will work honestly in my office....will never take a sick leave if I am not actually sick...

5: Always be nice and humble with my In-Laws and will try to be a good angelic wife to my beloved husband….

But as soon as I close my diary….

1: I got a call from my sisters that they are arriving from blah blah country to have EID with us….and so my mother put me in charge to clean house and get their room ready…

2: My office people put the loads of loads of piled work on me

3: My Google account and blog account got hacked and someone start claiming something like…I don’t have energy enough to talk about it now…

4: My nice…lovely…friend admitted in hospital and I have to look after her three children for whole week…

Every morning I had hectic day with lots of work in office…every afternoon I spent time with either my friend in hospital or in her house with her children…every evening after iftaar (when we break our fasting) I have to run along with my sisters for their shopping…

And when I finally came back home…I usually didn’t have energy to even look at my things to do list and dose off.

Whole month I looked for ways to talk to my MAKER…to actually TURN to HIM...and asked for HIS forgiveness…hmm....instead whole month WORLD kept me busy and looped me in it so intensely that I failed to do anything which I suppose to do in this month.

And now…when we are at the end of Ramadan…when may be today we will FAST for last time….until next year…I am feeling so ashamed of myself….

What my things to do list had….and….What I have done….? hmmm....

If I were a beloved Husband!

“Virtue is always modest, and modesty is itself a virtue. He who is discovered by his real excellence, and not by his egotistical advertisements of his own perfections, is a man worth knowing.”

-C. H. Spurgeon

Though I am not a model wife….hmmm…..I have longed to be a beloved husband just long enough to show other husbands how to act.

For….having viewed beloved husband from a wife’s standpoint…and having a wife’s idea of a model husband….

I think I could make a decided improvement on the conduct of most husbands.

First of all…if I were a husband….I would strive with all my might to be a manly….for if there is anything despicable…it is a man with weak feminine traits who could not utter a word infront of his elder sisters...hmm....

Endowed with a healthy man’s strength….I would use it in defending all creatures weaker than myself specially my wife.

I don’t think you would ever catch me talking nonsense to the baggers or waiving my hands to them to move away….instead I would politely ask them to move ahead or may be pay them some change because such conduct is a sign of a kind heart.

And a man that will take delight in playing mean….rough jokes on his wife’s girl friends is not the one that will step aside for his wife or give her his seat.

Therefore….I would practice politeness toward my wife’s girlfriends….so that it would come natural for me when my wife is around.

If I were a beloved husband….I would not try to hurry my wife or push her to finish her shopping as soon as possible as I cant stand the crowd….as I have seen men do.

I mean it is not civilized enough for a husband to disturb his wife on such important task.

And you would never find me among the crowd of loafers on the corner standing ready to remark upon or laugh at the passers by and I would never make my wife believe that they are my friends…if my wife thinks that all of my friends looked like loafers…I would readily give away their friendship.

And I would never allow my wife to do any heavy work that belongs to a big stout man like carrying the big shopping bags full of clothes or other stuff…even if they are all belongs to my wife.

I would never throw my wet towel on the floor or enter the house with muddy boots…and thereby save the wife the vexation that such conduct causes.

And I would never enter any house (specially neighbors) without the consent of my wife.

Above all I would keep clean….always wear the finest clothes when come to fetch wife from her office so that my wife need not shirk from allowing me to carry her books or bag.

Now if I were a beloved husband…I would try…after hearing these suggestions…to improve my general behavior.

At any rate…..it would surely make my wife respect me…hmmm.

Who is THINKING ?

I've had a lovely weekend with my mum...hmmm....

She arrived on Friday late afternoon with her usual bag of food after I'd told her not to bring anything....and left the same day with the same bag....only the food now stored in my refrigerator.

I worked so hard on my house to make it presentable to my mum.

The first thing she noticed was my computer and asked me why I have placed computer in my bedroom.

Result...hmmm....!

I mumbled and run away pretending to do something else.

As far as I'm aware....my mum doesn't read this blog. And I know if I tell her she'll never show an interest in my blog.

She doesn't have a computer and isn't interested in the Internet....but sometimes I just wish she'd have a quick look to see what's going on in my life.

My BLOG is my life...hmmm....I write what I experience…I write what I feel….I write what I want…and sometimes I write just to impress.

I often find it a shame if I'm honest because I've been dying to tell her about my blog with so many unusual post I published and all the many supportive friends I have made online...but I know she wouldn't understand.

I wish I could tell someone….about my blog…who would listens to me.

Who could read my words and digests my thoughts; understands my passion for social interaction and appreciates my success as a blogger.

I sometimes feel she's missing out on seeing the other side of my life....the side I enjoy...the blogging, the social networking as a whole.

I idolized my mum so much that I felt I only want to impress her.

I know I don’t have anything else to impress her with….perhaps my regular posts or friend’s comments impress her?

For now....I'll look forward to seeing my mum again....but I doubt I'll ever explain the concept behind Thinking.

The Curb Cruelty !

I was completely appalled at something I saw the other day during a trip to shopping area..hmmm...

As always...the place was heaving with shoppers and tourists and driving along the main street was a real challenge.

People walk out from nowhere....shouting at their kids to get a move on...."expecting" cars to just stop as they jay-walk in the middle of the road.

It's an area with a lot of shops and therefore attracts a lot of people....most of whom arrive by car.

One has to be careful when driving through as the danger of clipping someone as they forget about the ferocity of cars becomes all the more apparent.

I drive my mother’s old car which is not a big and powerful car....and even though I can handle it....it does cause a headache when people just walk in front of it when it's moving.

Just as I approached the pedestrian crossing....the lights turned to red.

I stopped...as you do...hmm...

There must have been around twenty people stood at that crossing...together with another thirty at least standing by the bus stops.

Then I noticed a young woman and what looked like her younger sister pushing a rather large middle-aged man in a wheelchair.

They were seriously struggling to get the chair off the curb and very nearly tipped the man out.

My first reaction was to look at the other people all crossing at the same time as I automatically assumed someone would go to assist.

Not one person bothered to help that woman...not one...hmmm....

Out of the dozens of people who stood within centimeters away from that family struggling to get across the road....not one measly person helped.

There were a lot of men in the vicinity who could easily have pushed that chair to the other side but no....that would have been too much trouble.

When the woman eventually got to the other side the struggle started again and by now the lights had turned back to green.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man behind me shaking his head before he rudely hand signaled to me in an effort to encourage me to go.

The young woman....her sister (as I assumed she was) and the man....whom I assumed was their father....were still in the road....struggling to get the chair up the curb.

I couldn't stand it any longer.

Still no one helped so I opened my door and shouted...."do you need some help?"

The sister turned round and stared at me.

I'm sorry.....but I can't stoop to the level of people who don't even bother to offer....that young girl looked at me as though I was out of order for even asking.

I'd rather be stared at as though I've got two heads than be branded as ignorant.

But it does make you think, doesn't it?

The Writer !

There are steps to become a famous novelist nowadays:

A: You have to write your debut novel on some lost/long forgotten dictator or politician or military activist.

B: Where you don’t only write about his decisions no matter wrong or right about the country but you also portrayed him as the most hideous person in the history and all his decisions were wrong. Although I always believed that the Satan should be the most beautiful person of any story because that is the only reason he can persuade people. Do you get persuaded by a person who is hideous and never have any attitude?

C: You also involved his whole family in it…specially his wife…living or dead…no matter you were preset that time or not… but you are required to mention his wife and the relationship between the two should be hilarious. Either the wife should be stupid or she acted stupidly in gathering and always made the main character’s position miserable.

B: Find an Indian Publisher.

C: Find someone who could promote your novel here which could be the long never forgotten enemy who never loose ways to settle their score with your novel’s main character.

Congratulations….you…a famous novelist.

I read so many books…some gave me real pleasure some were just to finish because once started it always seems to be the responsibility of a good reader to finish the book.

I tried so hard to complete “The Case of Exploding Mangoes” so many times.

May be I am not the political type of person or may be I don’t like the story plot. But one thing is sure that the way writer has displayed the character of our former president aka the DICTATOR (as so many people called him) Zia Ul Haq, it didn’t satisfy my greed.

I know that the novel would have so many true stories and may be the novelist has done so much hard work and have gathered so many evidence…even then…soon he started writing about Zia’s wife it gave me filthy feeling.

I mean he could have his story without involving Zia’s personal life. Why the writer has to ponder into Zia’s bedroom?

I don’t know about politics or its war at all…but even when you are in revenge you need to overlook enemy’s children and women. You can’t be hard on them.

More over he not only portrayed the Zia’s wife simply stupid to be the First Woman of any country he in some scene showed the hilarious relationship between Zia and his wife.

I know…I may be over reacting but when you are writing history novel you should be very carful because these novel could become the real history. Who knows one day people will turn to this novel to find out the history.

The way he dishonor every person related to Zia was not very acceptable and not very accommodated in the personal library of the people like me.

Today when I opened one of the leading Newspapers I saw M Hanif interview and one or two topic about his new book.

And today as on the 14 August when the Newspapers could have a long list of writers who wrote for common masses and the writers…whose patriotic writing have given new passion to the public…they have given space to M Hanif.

Who gained his fame…by dishonoring people (who were not very good with their decisions) and portraying their hilarious images to the common masses.

And that’s the way of life nowadays.

Happy Anniversary !

The more I know of the world, the more am I convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!”

~Marianne Dashwood

Like all couples....

hmm....we have days when we could throttle each other and days when we just want to be alone....

....but neither of us would ever want to be truly alone without the other there to offer support.

So I dedicate this post to my beloved husband;

.....a wonderful man who loves me just the way I am....and believe me....sometimes I should imagine that's a hard undertaking!

Being Me

I was pleasantly surprised the other day when my beloved husband expressed how he understood my reasons for being "me"...hmm.....

You may think this sound odd but all my life I've always felt like someone who doesn't belong...someone who hides in the corner and lets the world continue while she looks on.

One of my best friends who is a party lover texted me if I wanted to go over for Iftaar plus Diner party with three of her friends.

But....even though I love her to bits....I declined her invitation.

My unsociable personality is sometimes the bane of my life but it's just who I am...

I can't help being like this and I don't want to change.

hmm....I enjoy being me.

Sometimes...when I'm feeling isolated...I'd like to be invited to a party and accept the invitation... but I know I won't go and that's most likely why I never get invited anywhere.

And now I never complain about not being invited...people know me....they seem to understand.

My beloved husband....on the other hand....is very sociable and he loves partying....socializing and making new friends.

That's the way he is.

When I told him about me declining my friend's invitation to join in the fun…he said...."that doesn't matter....you're a loner. We'd be boring if we were all the same."

I enjoy being a loner. I've always been one.

hmmm...my online life is so different to my personal one.

Many people I talk to online assume I'm confident...chatty....someone with a big personality....but in reality I'm totally different.

I have one or two friends who shake their heads at me....in a nice way...but I can see what they're thinking.

I'm lucky though....because those friends understand me.

And now it seems....after 4 years....so does my beloved husband...hmmm....

Discovery Channel

My 7 years old niece watching the Discovery Channel….

hmm....and we the adults (my brother…his wife….me…beloved husband and my mother) were on the edge of some hot gossip when she suddenly asked me…

Phoooophii?"

"Yes?"

"Suppose….if you wants a baby….and years later you don’t have one…and now you have decided to have one….”

"Yeeesss?"

"...does you have to mate ?"

"hmmm....."

Sometimes….watching Discovery Channel all day long can be confusing….especially for a child who takes everything literally...

hmm....sees life as black and white

....lives on a "need-to-know" basis.

I wish I could get inside my niece’s mind and pick my way through all the loose wires.

Perhaps too many to count….and perhaps too many to connect together.

What a fascinating world in which she exists…hmmm…..