I've noticed that some people like to feel victimized.
When something doesn't go their way….or some mishap befalls them…they curl into a fetal position and bemoan how the cruel….unfair world is out to get them.
I know this because I have done this...hmmm.
Frankly…we've all probably thrown ourselves a pity party or few in our lives when things just don’t go our way.
So I have to wonder….why do we feel the need to feel like victims?
Like the world is out to get us?
Isn't that counterintuitive?
Perhaps it is a mechanism to deal with negative events in our lives.
There is some glory to being a martyr…hmmm…I think it's about frame of mind.
Like most people…I get annoyed from time to time about stupid encounters in life.
Someone drops the ball because he procrastinated on a dinner party day. So you're the one who has to take on her workload.
Someone was lazy and didn't feel like doing something. So you're the one who has to take on her workload.
Usually…in a Perfect Universe….when Person A procrastinate….Person A is the one who must deal with the consequences.
In life…however…when Person A turned the in-laws down…HR is the one who has to deal with the consequences..hmm....
At this point...hmm....instead of getting mad…however…I should change my frame of mind.
Instead of thinking…"Because of these lazy people…I need to work late and clean up the kitchen"….
I should remind myself that the more work that I do…the more valuable I become as a Daughter-in-Law.
And…without throwing anyone under the bus….I need to let my beloved husband know that I've done more than my share of work.
The key is to self-promote or self-sell. (Or so they tell me.)
I detest people who brag about themselves.
You know the ones...hmmm.....
They dominate the conversation at lunch or family meetings…regaling everyone within earshot with tales of their valor on Dinner A....Marriage B....or Helping C.
They boast…they laugh at their own jokes…and they heartily agree and nod when they get props.
I really dislike those people.
And no matter what…I don't think I could ever be like them.
So there seems to be a fine line between cockiness and confidence.
I just need to find it and remind myself: as people pile more work on you….remember to let the Mother-in-Law know.
In the end….it makes the workpiler look lazy….and makes you look awesome.
The question is: Does anyone care?
Contextual Notes to 'Smoke & Mirrors' - 'Smoke & Mirrors', (*A New Ulster*). Some notes were omitted from the book *About Time: Poems & Adaptations 1993 - 2012* due to the length of the ones that...
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