Thursday, June 16, 2011

Pity Party

I've noticed that some people like to feel victimized.

When something doesn't go their way….or some mishap befalls them…they curl into a fetal position and bemoan how the cruel….unfair world is out to get them.

I know this because I have done this...hmmm.

Frankly…we've all probably thrown ourselves a pity party or few in our lives when things just don’t go our way.

So I have to wonder….why do we feel the need to feel like victims?

Like the world is out to get us?

Isn't that counterintuitive?

Perhaps it is a mechanism to deal with negative events in our lives.

There is some glory to being a martyr…hmmm…I think it's about frame of mind.

Like most people…I get annoyed from time to time about stupid encounters in life.

Someone drops the ball because he procrastinated on a dinner party day. So you're the one who has to take on her workload.

Someone was lazy and didn't feel like doing something. So you're the one who has to take on her workload.

Usually…in a Perfect Universe….when Person A procrastinate….Person A is the one who must deal with the consequences.

In life…however…when Person A turned the in-laws down…HR is the one who has to deal with the consequences..hmm....

At this point...hmm....instead of getting mad…however…I should change my frame of mind.

Instead of thinking…"Because of these lazy people…I need to work late and clean up the kitchen"….

I should remind myself that the more work that I do…the more valuable I become as a Daughter-in-Law.

And…without throwing anyone under the bus….I need to let my beloved husband know that I've done more than my share of work.

The key is to self-promote or self-sell. (Or so they tell me.)

I detest people who brag about themselves.

You know the ones...hmmm.....

They dominate the conversation at lunch or family meetings…regaling everyone within earshot with tales of their valor on Dinner A....Marriage B....or Helping C.

They boast…they laugh at their own jokes…and they heartily agree and nod when they get props.

I really dislike those people.

And no matter what…I don't think I could ever be like them.

So there seems to be a fine line between cockiness and confidence.

I just need to find it and remind myself: as people pile more work on you….remember to let the Mother-in-Law know.

In the end….it makes the workpiler look lazy….and makes you look awesome.

The question is: Does anyone care?

12 comments:

  1. Self promote to husband? LOL!!! Yes, there is indeed a thin line between bragging and self promotion. Good luck wid your MIL;)

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  3. lolz,,
    can I please join this "pity party"?;p
    and this is what AKTA KAPOOR teaches you in those soaps....'let the beloved husband know that you have done more then your share of work'...;p
    jokes apart you are right..people with good hearts and clean minds cant be like them..
    and btw to see someone bragging sometimes becomes such a sight! Braggers simply dont know when to stop and ultimately end up embarrassing their butts off over it when some body RUDE (read it straightforward here) like me asks them to shut up;p

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  4. Yup the telling mother in law thingy sounds fine. We get to face such problems with colleagues too, major issue of joint family as well =/

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  5. you should have some deceny to work for your inlaws. it will not kill you.

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  6. interesting....
    btw self promotion is indeed an important aspect of life be it at home or at work place...its an art one must know.

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  7. yea..we all have been a part of the pity party at some point or other---telling everyone our woes only to realise that 20% dont care & the remaining 80% may actually be happy that we have them.

    so why frown eh?
    instead stay happy & let ppl wonder wht the reason is :D

    cheers!

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  8. Thinking,

    Read 2 posts. I maintain that one should follow own conscience and nothing can be wrong. If your conscience allowed you to try whatever it was for pleasure, it is fine. I agree one should not project himself or herself as victim but carry on with life as usual. I agree that cockiness is not acceptable. People do try to palm off their work, it is best to let others know that what you are doing is someone else's work.

    Take care

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  9. pity parties short term gain but a long term pain.

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  10. Self pity is like making a fool out of ourselves. Hah. And of course, nobody cares.

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  11. hmmm....dear All...

    Thanks alot.

    I am so honored to have you on my blog.

    Thanks once again for your precious time.

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