Sunday, November 11, 2012

Can't Sleep !


hmm…consider you’ve just gone to bed: 

You are in familiar surroundings…nestling inside sheets and blankets that are steeped in your own smells and memories…hmm….your head has found that pocket of softness in the middle of your pillow…you are lying on your side…and as you curl your legs up against your stomach…your forehead tilts forward… and the cold side of the pillow cools your face….soon…hmmm….very soon….you’ll fall asleep and….in the darkness that engulfs you…you will forget everything – everything.

So consider you will forget it all:

The disloyalty of a friend...hmm…betrayals…the cruel power of your superiors…the thoughtless things you wish you’d never said…the stupidities…the unfinished work…the lack of consideration…the injustices…the indifference…those who’ve blamed you…those who will blame you no matter how you explain yourself…your financial troubles…the rush of time….the endless waits….the things and people forever beyond your reach…your loneliness…your shame…your defeats….your wretchedness…your pain and the catastrophes – all those catastrophes – in just a few minutes you will forget them all.

hmmm…the prospect comforts you.

Patiently you wait:

hmm…and you are not alone in waiting….waiting with you in the darkness…or the half-light…are all those ordinary and oh-so familiar wardrobes…chests of drawers…tables….chairs….tightly shut curtains…. discarded clothes…your hand bag and next to it your hand watch and your rings – all waiting…hmm…patiently waiting.

Since you wait you listen to the familiar sounds of night:

A car passing through the neighborhood…swishing through the puddles at the side of the street and over the cobblestones you know so well…a street door closing…hmm…somewhere nearby….the hum of the old refrigerator motor…the dogs barking in the distance….a whistle after every hour from the street keeper…and sound of train passing though so distant but it seems its nearby...

With these sounds come memories of sleep and dreams….memories of oblivion…of being ushered into another world…hmm…they remind you that it will not be long now….soon you’ll vanish from your mind along with everything around you…even your beloved bed….as you sleep into the enchanted world of sleep.

You make yourself ready:

It feels as if you’re wafting away from your own body….wafting away from your beloved legs….your hands…your arms…after all who wants the body to travel through a dream?

You are ready….and this so pleases you to know that you’ll be forgetting them soon too….as you close your eyes.

A soft twitch of the lids reminds you that your pupils are safely shielded from the light...you also stop all your memories parading before you so that your mind would not start wandering in another journey than of sleep but….

After all this sacrifices...all the preparation….you can’t sleep.

Still…hmm….you can’t sleep….what to do?

8 comments:

  1. The is written with such a mastery I am astonished!

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  2. what a recipe of sleep deprivation!!!!!!

    *******positive thoughts are helpful to get a sound sleep unless it's sleep apnea.

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  3. hmm... Dar Sahib
    Thank you...for introducing me to Orhan Pamuk..I am too much into his style nowadays...now can you see the resemblance?

    hmm... Tariq Mian Sahib

    Yes...good thoughts are good for good night sleep...

    Gentlemen

    hmm...Thank you for your time and comment. I am honored to have matured readers like you.

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  4. I agree with the gentlemen above...

    I love this universal yet freshly put line: "steeped in your own smells and memories…hmm…." and all the other description...

    And I hope you never lose your personal signature of the surprise ending...

    This should be part One of more...

    I am reminded of the elegant, deep & true teaching of a Professor of literature I've been following who discusses as a theme which he has personally experienced:

    That sometimes when we "fall into sleep" we also experience the triumph's history screams even of our ancestors up to our near relatives...

    at which time the only apparent comfort, like sleeplessness, is to get in touch with those connecting experiences, dreams, waking dreams which may go beyond the usual and be a calling not only for our understanding of our own "tribe" and background but also of the common lineage of us all.

    Sometimes, do you find, that a sleepless night let to just the right task of writing, reading, understanding, prayer understood in our own personal language (oh there are so many in the silence of this language all over the world and in the earthly and heavenly places beyond our sight)... which gives us the sense of our place in it all, the witness which is our our own nurture --

    doing then in the little and the grand...our nurture is to do the will of the Creator of our known and true understanding...

    even in our broken ways, all...

    (be sure to look out for the two books you ordered coming soon & one from a foreign genre yet which you could easily translate for your own style, culture, wisdom adding flares of your own...

    a woman detective in world war one...

    about secrets of which you are master...

    (Be

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  5. hmm...Dear friend Connie....what wonderful ways you have to elevate one's spirit....I am so glad to read more often now since I already can listen the Christmas bells ringing in near future...so you will be busy again soon.
    I wish and pray today that you keep your touch and natural gesture you send through emails...classical letters and books...always.

    Thank you so much for bringing such life into this blog too...I am honored.

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  6. Thinking,

    Read 2 posts now. Age is a number in mind. One is as old as one feels. However one becomes wiser with each passing year. It is true that just as one is drifting off to sleep a lot of thoughts about happening around pass through the mind. Some may lead to lack of sleep.

    Take care

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    Replies
    1. bottom line is 'peace of mind' leads to good night sleep.

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  7. Happens most of the time.
    I am still searching for a cure.
    If there was any way........ to just have peace i life :/

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