Can't Sleep !

hmm…consider you’ve just gone to bed: 

You are in familiar surroundings…nestling inside sheets and blankets that are steeped in your own smells and memories…hmm….your head has found that pocket of softness in the middle of your pillow…you are lying on your side…and as you curl your legs up against your stomach…your forehead tilts forward… and the cold side of the pillow cools your face….soon…hmmm….very soon….you’ll fall asleep and….in the darkness that engulfs you…you will forget everything – everything.

So consider you will forget it all:

The disloyalty of a friend...hmm…betrayals…the cruel power of your superiors…the thoughtless things you wish you’d never said…the stupidities…the unfinished work…the lack of consideration…the injustices…the indifference…those who’ve blamed you…those who will blame you no matter how you explain yourself…your financial troubles…the rush of time….the endless waits….the things and people forever beyond your reach…your loneliness…your shame…your defeats….your wretchedness…your pain and the catastrophes – all those catastrophes – in just a few minutes you will forget them all.

hmmm…the prospect comforts you.

Patiently you wait:

hmm…and you are not alone in waiting….waiting with you in the darkness…or the half-light…are all those ordinary and oh-so familiar wardrobes…chests of drawers…tables….chairs….tightly shut curtains…. discarded clothes…your hand bag and next to it your hand watch and your rings – all waiting…hmm…patiently waiting.

Since you wait you listen to the familiar sounds of night:

A car passing through the neighborhood…swishing through the puddles at the side of the street and over the cobblestones you know so well…a street door closing…hmm…somewhere nearby….the hum of the old refrigerator motor…the dogs barking in the distance….a whistle after every hour from the street keeper…and sound of train passing though so distant but it seems its nearby...

With these sounds come memories of sleep and dreams….memories of oblivion…of being ushered into another world…hmm…they remind you that it will not be long now….soon you’ll vanish from your mind along with everything around you…even your beloved bed….as you sleep into the enchanted world of sleep.

You make yourself ready:

It feels as if you’re wafting away from your own body….wafting away from your beloved legs….your hands…your arms…after all who wants the body to travel through a dream?

You are ready….and this so pleases you to know that you’ll be forgetting them soon too….as you close your eyes.

A soft twitch of the lids reminds you that your pupils are safely shielded from the light...you also stop all your memories parading before you so that your mind would not start wandering in another journey than of sleep but….

After all this sacrifices...all the preparation….you can’t sleep.

Still…hmm….you can’t sleep….what to do?