"Please take off all your jewellery. "Nurse instructed my mum before exposing her to the X-ray machine.
My mum took off....three rings from her hands including her wedding ring. I witnessed an uncomfortable expression on my mum's face while she took off her rings.
I have already talked so much about how my mum cherished her wedding ring and now it has become one of my all time favourite topics.
My mum was married to my father for 38 years before he passed away.
All that time she never took off her wedding ring. I mean it is part of her daily routine to take it off during cooking or laundry or other manual work but than she never forget to wore it again.
Whether it was superstition or just her way of reminding herself of staying loyal to my father...who spent most of his after marriage life abroad....it had a deep impact on me.
But at the same time...I felt that it means nothing...wearing the wedding ring whole day long...all your life....just to prove loyalty towards your partner used to seems so childish....hmmm....
They are just the symbol of wows we had taken before public...
On my wedding....to the beloved husband....un-intentionaly....the wows were still made....
The love was and still is undying...and....when he placed a gold band on my finger...I too vowed never to remove it...hmmm...
It was a symbol of our commitment and loyalty to each other....hmm...
However...I have developed an irritable skin condition which has got underneath my gold ring caused my skin to crack open....become itchy and really quite painful.
And thus....I had to remove my wedding ring.
For the first time in almost two and half years I have no ring on my wedding finger...hmm...
I knew...I might have to take it off....cause applying cream on the allergy was making the skin more irritate and allergic to the ring.
Regrettably....I took it off....
Telling myself constantly that it's only a gold band and even though is a symbol of my marriage...does not mean that my marriage is over.
And once the skin condition cleared up I will place it back on my finger...besides it is just the vows we had taken in front of public...nothing more....right?
I know many women....who don't wear their wedding ring or think about it as our family have...
...so...hmm....what I want YOU ALL to tell me is....that it really doesn't matter...
And that it's just a piece of jewellery....right???? hmmm...
Marriage is a bond for both the partners but why wife feels more bonded by this bond? I think the reason is that woman by nature is emotionally more strong and focused about her matters of heart, man is emotionally weak and very inattentive, disoriented, usually careless and casual about matters of heart. This lack of sensitivity actually springs from his nature of being romantic. Usually woman don’t know this but men are more romantic than women but as they are not focused their pretensions are not visible and cannot be easily understood. Women wear wedding rings showing that the focal point of their attention is the relationship that they are in. Woman loves her relationship more than she loves the man and the man loves the woman more but cares less about the relationship, hence men seldom wear wedding rings!
ReplyDeletehmm...Dar Sahib....
ReplyDeleteVery sensitive indeed to read about how men feel about these things...
The way you explained it cover up both the sides and you do justice with both.
I am so honored Sir to have you on my blog.
Thank you so much for coming !
I love to see the beautiful, respectful encouragement and relationship understanding shared here in both your posts, Thinking, and in "Sir's" responses.
ReplyDeleteThat gold band jumped out at me because it looks just like mine.
Just recently I've been remembering little stories about it that relate to both of your comments:
1) early in our marriage at a children's camp I lost my ring while swimming (my fingers often change shape of width all my life) and my dear husband was going to dive for it but as he had recently dived for something else not knowing how very shallow and hit his head terribly making an horrific headache which lasted for days, I said NO although I was so sad to lose it...then lo and behold along comes a genius savant...a young boy who like other savants is very good at a specialty. He was known to ALWAYS find things, especially diving...so he found my wedding ring. I lost it several other ways--I have tended to put it from one finger to another as a way of reminder...yet sometimes the other finger is too narrow...that's one way...another was in a garden in a heap of soft soil...one time I never found it until a year later...and we couldn't replace it at that time.
Sorry, this is getting way too long...In conclusion, like many substantial events and rare happenings, if we stop long enough to pause, some amazingly clear reminders and lessons come forth...
When I'm away from my husband I've found that wearing and displaying the ring cuts down on male-female problems to this day. I'm surprised that men don't like to uncomplicate their lives the same way when possible?
But love will not be happy for you if an irritated finger gets in the way of joy...so heal dear...and then try to switch it from one hand to the other...if a good fit...to air it out. (Esp. when not in public) and while not making too much over it...why not ask what is spiritually/emotionally/intellectually an irritant in the marriage and work on it...both of you...I predict as that irritant is solved (even imperfectly) the skin irritability will also go away. :)
Well i cannot feel the same as you do, but i think wearing the wedding ring to show the loyalty is sweetest, loveliest and caring of all the ways :)
ReplyDeleteYes there is still no problem if you cannot wear it due to some reasons, but if your mom wears it she might have some "Associations" with it.As her husband is no long with her, may be its the only way by which she could feel him close to her somewhere.. isn't it?
No doubt, its pure " LOVE" nothing else and its sweet and touching indeed!
Wedding ring is not only just a piece of jewelery, its the symbol of love, feelings and emotions, associations and memories and the golden time!!
hmm...Dear Connie...thank you so much for sharing with me what your expiriences were with your wedding ring...we all had so many stories to tell...
ReplyDeleteAnd ofcourse...I will see to it that if any first of all deal with the conflicts between me and my beloved husband...but it is not the case...hmm...I am happy about it...
And I did smile about what you have said for men not wearing their rings...well...in our religion...men are prohibited to wear jewellery of any kind...so here all the men have the reason to remain complicated...
Thank you so much dear friend...I can see that you have so much to talk about...but due to shortage of time or some other reason you are not uploading your own personal blog...
Tell me if I am of any help....
I am honored.
Dear Areeba...how sweet...
ReplyDeleteI can forsee you...caring like your life...your wedding ring...hmmm....
I am honored to have you deari.
Thank you so much.
Actually today I finally began that personal blogsite...with YOUR gentle yet firm insistance....I think you and will soon turn to you for some help if at all possible. I am shy but determined..it is only fair after all you each have shared with me personally. HUGS!!!
ReplyDeleteReeBz, I too love your appreciation for the symbol of the wedding ring and see you have a huge heart for loyalty, romance and symbol of the same.
Thinking, many times, there's nothing to go with a physical tangible symbol or event...so don't worry..yet lately I am asking in some of these cases of my own life and in a few cases, they are helpful attention-getters.
I do so enjoy the personal discussions each of you do bring out in people here and even where I am. I feel you each as a real kind of family...no different than people here in the real and deep ways...
:)
ReplyDeletehmm...Dear Connie...thanks and looking forward to read your blog...
ReplyDeleteAnd yes...I have joined SHafique Sahib RR community only few months back...lets say...in October I think...and now it seems that I knew all of them since my childhood and fortunately we have our sphere increasing day by day....
So...we all are united...through...our intentionaly or un-intentionaly good hearts and will to serve this country and beyond.
Thank you so much for feeling the connection.
I am honored...to have you....Dear Friend !