Monday, October 11, 2010

Cursed Mask

I have so many masks. These blessed MASKS.

Since my childhood I am using each and every one of my mask to protect me from being discovered.

Believe me….I am afraid of being understood..hmm

My masks keep me at distance with this world…its people…its hopes…its desires…its truth…its lie.

I have painted my masks beautifully and use them artistically.

When I was a little girl and came about these masks…it was very hard to put them on…cause…that time...hmm...

I was fond of fresh air and my eyes were in search of truth and my ears wants to hear the beautiful songs...life sing for me.

But soon after first heart break…I become afraid of people…what they going to say?

I should be ready to be crucified by their interrogation…and in my youthful terror….

I pick one of my mask – and put it on…soon…I start smiling…

I felt my dead face…tearful eyes behind mask…but was relieved to know that I am undiscoverable….

hmmm…lot easy way to get away...yeah???

That’s exactly what I think and that’s how I start carrying them with me all the time…

Sometimes…I have to show my sorrow…sometimes my laugh…sometimes my love…sometimes my hatred…sometimes my labor…sometimes my hunger…sometimes my intelligence…

I am now…in a habit of showing what I am not…at that precise moment….
I am now in a habit of prevailing the truth….
I am now in a habit of not saying I should be saying…
I am now in a habit of telling lies…
making fun of other people…
manipulating events…
showing off…

My intelligence…my words….my sighs….my smile…my sympathy….my concern….all of them are my masks….

These cursed masks….which made me what I not used to be….these cursed masks made me evil…these cursed masks made me fool in my own eyes.

I am now tired….tired of these masks….

I want to throw them…get rid of them…why not any thief steel them?

So that I can shout with my throat out and cursed the thieves but would be relieved in heart.

I know…I will be lonely without them…but I know I would be free without them…

I would be free with my loneliness…

I would be able to mingle with my self…

I want my face back...hmmm...

Iwant my face to be touched by radiant sunlight…

I want my soul to be inflamed by love…

I want to shed my masks.

14 comments:

  1. Come on girl, you don't need a mask ;-)

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  2. lol... nice post...

    you want to get rid of these masks...hmmm... what according to u is a face? like face minus all masks is really a face?

    i think that's a mask as well... :)

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  3. We all have our own masks. Some suit us better than others.

    Then again, some people choose to see whatever mask they light, but the real friends see past the masks and know who we really are.

    wow, I sound corny.

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  4. We do not wear mask it is the mask that wears us, the masks are available since time immemorial and we inherited this as a cosmetic from the bygone ages that provided them before the first human ever landed on this biosphere. The mask was in search of a face and humans so distinctively provided that opportunity which no other life form could muster, as we humans always cherish novelty and mask is coloration of possibilities. Mask is an imaginative reflection of the seer and outside world that the outsider wants us to look like, they want us to look in the cut out roles with which they can identify us. We do not wear these masks on our own accord we are masked by our loved ones, our detractors, our friends and foes alike for their own convenience. We accept these masks as our own but remain in conflict thinking that we are disguising reality, although we have very little control over there use. We fulfill our roles according to wishes of others! Our reality is not what we think it is our reality is mostly what world sees us as….

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  5. excellent post buddy..i liked the words: I want my soul to be inflamed by love…if only everyone thinks like that, how can there be conflicts?

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  6. I am amused yet also many feelings and responses arise by your most interesting and well-chosen words:

    "These blessed MASKS.

    Since my childhood I am using each and every one of my mask to protect me from being discovered."

    In fact, I will need to return early next week due to a BIG assignment and daughter coming...

    Yet WE may have a fun and fruitful little discussion if you are still on this topic next week here or via email?

    As usual, I enjoyed our sage, Akhtar Wasim Dar Sahib's full and poignant response...

    Also I have often heard the words from TS Elliot's poetry repeating in my head or soul:

    "There will be time prepare faces for the faces we will meet" (lovesong of J...Prufock? it's been years)

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  7. True that .....
    I am AFRAID of being understood too...
    I'd say Set yourself free , feel the breeze straight o your soul ...
    It is time to spread your glow !
    =)

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  8. Dear Agnes....thank you for coming....I am honored.

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  9. Deat rIZ.....I am feeling proud that you finally find something on my blog worth commenting....

    Thank you so much.

    Yes....eventully...the face without MASK is another mask...but at least it reveals the truth...

    I am honored.

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  10. Alpha Za....hmmm.....thankyou so much for taking out time....

    Our masks which we wore to please others are better than the one on our face which hide our true emotions....

    Sometimes....you just want to show....what is in your heart....good or bad...whatever...

    Its only the matter of true friendship...yeah?

    I wish I could have some friends like one you wrote about...

    I am honored to have...your comment. Thanks !

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  11. hmm....Dar Sahib

    Thank you so much for such nice and deep thought....

    The world tamed human the way it want him to be...but still the ultimate choice is of individual...

    I am honored to have you Sir here....thanks again.

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  12. Dear Ramesh...thank you for likinig my post....I am honored.

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  13. hmm...Dear Friend...Connie...

    Thanks for taking out time...I know how busy you are with family and social work....

    BUt I always feel happy to see you roaming on RR family blogs keep us all alive and active...as you are....

    Thanks again...Take Care,

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  14. hmm...dear Princess...

    Thanks alot for coming and taking time for commenting...

    I am honored.

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