Was I ready to let her go !

Once in our life we all have to go through this situation. We have to let go the person we realy love and care about.

While my mother was having heart attack she was on the bed having those fits and I was just rubbing her cold feets, only those I dare to stare, it was realy horible looking at her with so much pain on her face and doctors were continuously asking me to leave the room and suddenly one of them pulled me out and said...

Your rubbing her feets would not going to bring her back to life. Let us do it and ask Allah for help.

hmm....suddenly this thought came into my mind that what if this is the time?

This is the time to let go her?

This is the time when I should glare with twinkle in my eyes and say good bye?

What if.... Even it was the time...even I already made up my mind.....I know I was not ready for such loss.

I think I never be...

I think that I never wanted to loose anyone...even though I was very stupid or dumb but it does not mean I want to let go any relationship.

All my life I worked very hard to have good relationship with all my family, frineds, colleages and every person around me.

All my life I keep my self away of loosing anyone. All my life I tried so hard to tolerate every mistake, mis deed people did to me just to keep them. All my life I treasure humans.

But whatever I did, even how much I tolerate, even after every effort....Those RELATIONSHIPS....kept breaking. People came and went away from my life marking my heart with their foot prints and after every loss I said to myself...may be a little more tolerance....may be a little more care....may be a little more love might had stopped them?

But would it stopped them??? No my caring and my pleading didnt stop anyone. It is how it is...it is how Allah want it..and it will be as HE wanted.

Therefore, I should just leave the room...let the leaving one be alone...give the leaving one own space and should make my heart strong enough to let go..let go the relationship...let go the loved one...

Anyways....hmmm Ammi is better now and I pray that Allah keeps everyones mother in good health and give them long life to share with their children. (Ameen)

Writing is Thinking !

Writing means thinking - Consider, William, take a month to think - The desire to write a natural impluse like wanting to be a policman - Inspiratrion verses Effort - This comes to me, says the poet - Learning to see and learning to say what you see.

Writing originates in the brain and done straight from the elbow.

I believe writing is a form of thought while there are still few who thinks writing as a form of activity. As I always stress the simple fact that writing is essentialy thinking, or at least involves thinking at its first requisite. All people can think, or at least they think they think.But few people can say what they think, that is, say it with sufficient power of language to convey it to the full.

Even when they have conveyaed it, it may turn out to be not worth conveying.

But there are some people whose thoughts are so interesting that other people are glad to hear them or ead them.

Yet even these people must learn the use of language adequate to convey their thoughts; people may sputter and gurgle in a highly interesting way but without the full equipment of accquired of language their sputters wont carry far.

This, then, is what is what is meant by writing - to have thoughts which are of interest to other people and to put them into language which reveals the thoughts.

But I made all above references to explain professional writing.

I write for myself, of myself and reveal the inner thoughts of my heart.

This is the first step to say and accept the truth. To say, to speak your heart out. To say what you feel at that very moment.

Writing has been a pleasure for me since childhood. When I did'nt even know what to and how to write.

Writing for me is a source of seeing time from different angles and to observe what might lies behind the moment passed.

Writing is always my passion, my hobby and my campanion since it always gives me ways to escape.

So happy writing and keep writing.

You can use your heart anywhere ....everwhere !

I burst out laughing when I pass today through our basement car parking and saw this little creature on the cabinet our gatekeeper used to safe the keys of the every appratment cars.

Its really funny...why?

That was suppose to be the trash and I just throw it in the dustbin when I was cleaning my niece room few days ago.

As I was expecting her with me in few days. She used to play with it when she first came to Pakistan and I was un married and used to live with my mom in our little appratment.

Anyhow, I want to give her at least a bedroom may be coming here could be a shock to her and may be she would need a little sapce where she can think or at least sleep tight.

Although my other sister was also coming with her two daughters but I was only thinking about Sidrah. I know how sensitive she is.

So I decided to give her a seprate room and had to throw so many things just to make space for her new bed and a little writing table as she is also likes to write alot.

And there than I throw all those small childrens toys which my mother still wanted to keep them as treasure.

That was the only chance to get rid of all those long kept useless things.We always keep things having in mind to use them again but infact we never do.

We find something better than that or may be couldnt find those things on time and then has to buy new one.

I told my mother that her grand sons and daughters always bring their own toys and never needed any of these old toys so why keep them to fill the spaces.

Even than when I was trowing all those old things from little room my mother was trying to show her self busy in TASBIH....but she continuosly kept an eye on trash bin.hmm...someone than picked up this toy from our trash bin which become a big card box and was lifted down by two people we hire to bring new bed and a writing table....and fill it up with air and put it on the most ugly rack in our building and try to give us all a lighter view of our basement.

I am since than thinking about that person. Who that could be ? Who got the eyes to see and picked up something...like this TRASH.... no....TOY( something which used to make someone happy....a thing which can bring smile to a child and a thing which can be so fragile yet has make so impresive output that every chaild want to have it).

I was thinking to my self since than that creativity can happen anywhere and everywhere.

You can use your heart anywhere and everywhere. You can make a ugly space beautiful by just using your creativity or your heart.

The sight was very delightful and it sure make my day.

I wish I could be a second hand !

Look....at the wall clock....

It has three hands....

a: hour hand,

b: minute hand,

c: second hand.

Look....at the hour hand...its just the lazy bum....move so slowly that no one noticed it.

Took it almost an hour to move from one place to other. Cant make any move by itself...its dependent on minute and second hands...hmm...

whole day it only take 12 steps..what a looser..just like me...didnt show any life in its movement too slow to accompany anyone else in the clock and too lazy to show any excitment in its move....

Look...at the second hand now...what a life...what a thrille and what a speed...hmm...it is only the second hand which gives life to the clock...make noises...cant you hear that...??? tik tik tik....

yeah...its only the second hand...gives us the hope of time...and life...we still have time to move ahead...

We still have life to change and we still have chance to catch our destiny...we still have path to move ahead...we are not dependent...we are still moving with time...time is still in our hands....go go go....

They both are in the same sphere...in the same prison....in the same circle...their destiny is same...their time is same...their life is same....but...interstingly how different characterstics they both have..in one hour when hour hand makes only one move second hand makes almost 43,200 moves.

hmm...sometimes I wish....I can be a second hand.

National Customer Service Week (NCSW)

In any and every job we find ourselves in there will always be things we take pleasure in doing and things we do because it is our duty.

I think few people would say they have pleasure in everything they do at work. Of course, looking for ways to find pleasure in the 'duty' side of things is what I believe most people who are generally happy with their jobs do.

It may seem to you that being a 'caller agent', as few of my colleague and friends call me, is less important or meaningful than other jobs, but it could be they are not looking enough to the positives. I am in a position to help people, at least as far as I am able, if I am doing my best.

This is as noble a job as many others.

Plus, I am helping people all around the country. It does not matter where they are calling from, what is their race, sex, colour or education. I treated them, help them equally. Sometimes, I have to raise my voice disturbing other people around me because the person is calling from both or bus stop and cant hear me. I don’t say ‘call me later’ or ‘come in the quite place’, nope….I help them by deliberately yelling in the receivers.

I sometimes had to deal with the people who don’t understand English…don’t understand Urdu…. Even they don’t understand what I say to them… I have to explain every single terminology I use. I sometimes has to bear some angry customers complain cursing me, though I know that after when I calmly listen to them, it naturally helped them feel better. I always make myself gentle reminders about positive side of my job.

I always think that each person who enters in contact with me is an opportunity for me to be kind to, and sometimes, believe it or not, even when I am not able to respond to the caller's needs, just being kind and demonstrating willingness can make a whole difference in a caller's day, or even life.

At the end of the day, that's what drives me. Being kind and hoping that even the smallest things I do can touch someone in a positive way, I already consider my contribution to others and almost a reason for being.

But it always hurts when I sometimes heard people complaining that they are standing outside the gate of British Council, even after all the hope and desire to see someone coming from inside to help them out I always have to say NO to them. That British Council is closed for public access and we can’t entertain them. It really made me wild for a while.

So when I heard that we are celebrating our National Customer Service Week (NCSW), and asked for our suggestions, I readily said that I want our security guards to be trained to treat our customer nicely and enthusiastically. If we can’t go outside for them at least our guards should know how to treat customer in humanitarian way.

So, my Line Manager, Khadija Hussaini (being the Customer Service Champion) took the liberty and gave our security guards a training session of one hour and trained them how they can also be the customer service provider.

As it was my idea, I felt proud and most of all felt much relax that now when customer would come at ACTON GATE, they will be entertained as our valued customer no matter what enquiry they have.

When one tries to do the best one can, this is noticed by others and good things can happen to our lives, without us even expecting them.