Rival of 'I Love You'

I know the most important three words in the world are...hmm.... “I love you”.

There are very few people will dispute this....including me.

When these words are uttered...it can mean the world to the two people involved.

However...this is not the real important point for me today to be made about these three word phrases.

The actual agenda is to point out the rival of these three important phrases of the world.

More importantly...hmm...or perhaps...more dangerously...are another three words that rival those three in the effect they cause...hmm...although causing the opposite reaction.

So I will suggest you all: Never ever utter these three words without knowing first that you will not be hearing back those three rival words instead of ‘I love you’…believe me those rival words have the tendency to ruin your romantic mood…even relationship…

And worst is that you will fall in a situation where you can’t take back your ‘I love you’…I mean how it would be like when you say ‘ I love you’ and hearing those rival words…you say…’Okay a mistake! I am taking back my ‘I love you’….no…you have said them and now you have to swallow the replied rival words too…hmmm…

So when today I saw my beloved husband being extra nice with me…he brought me flowers (I) never knowing that it was left overs of a business meeting..and he just don’t want them to be thrown off (something should never be disclosed by beloved husband…otherwise bring quite a disappointment to wife…perhaps) I said…soon after I saw him with flowers...those three important phrases…

Sadly...hmm...after me saying the best three words; “I Love You.”

He said..“I Don’t Know.”

Odd

Once in a while you find yourself in an odd situation.

You get into it by degrees and in the most natural way but...hmm...

When you are right in the midst of it...you are suddenly astonished and ask yourself how in the world it all came about.

If...for example....you saw a movie few days ago of a storm and forget all about it...

But one night you wake up in your dream and found the same storm...same incidents...same dialogues...with changed faces..in your dream you see yourself...your lost one...

Later you will wake up...perhaps a little less rested than ordinarily...and begin to think about it.

And you want to write about it...you want to write something very nasty about what had just passed and something very bad about your....hmmm.....Maker....

Isn't it strange...what you wrote...is something very different than what you were planing in your mind to write...

On one such morning I sat writing in a dew-drenched diary:

Show me where it hurts,

God said,

and every cell in my body burst into tears before His tender eyes.

He has repaid me though for all my suffering in a way I never wanted:

The sun is now in homage to my face,

because it knows I have seen God.

But that was not His payment.

The soul cannot describe His gift.

I just spoke about the sun like that because I like beautiful words,

and because it’s true:

Creation is in homage to use. (Rabia of Basra)

Dates (Khajoor)

Rainbow !

God uses ‘rain storms’ to wash away the high and low of the ground…even the tiny grass roots get clean…and when the morning came we see the flowers more cleaner…more colourful...more green.

The raining at first darkened the sky…you hardly see anything…but turn out good for the nature..hmm....

It keeps it healthy. Only you have to wait for the clouds to drop all the water so that the sky can get clear.

The sun shine again…the tiny water vapours hanging in between the air makes rainbow on the sky…all the golden dandelions lift up their little faces to the sun….all the birds sing joyfully….and so the world becomes beautiful.

At that moment…you can get your camera out and capture the beauty.

I was facing another type of rain last night…hmm...

The tears were falling fast and the low light of night bulb lit them up against the sadness and the night looked even darker.

There are moments in our life that a camera could not truly capture but heart always captured to never let go…and those moments keep haunting you…again and again….time to time….

And thus last night…God washed my heart too…hmm...

Now I am waiting on HIM that when HE will hang it out to dry…so that my heart can see the rainbow…a clear sky…the flowers of heart- the ones HE planted there can be brighter…and heart can sing joyfully.

Waiting…hmmm....

Missing You !

Life is so…hmmm…so empty…nowadays…or perhaps…painful…it seems that something has broken my back…

It’s this continuous pain…spontaneous…it emerge from the back run towards the neck and suddenly it strike straight on heart….hmm…

It doesn’t even let me turn around to see…who exactly has triggered it…

I only bend down again….take my pen to write something…

Until one month ago I might have taken my pen in hand to write something humorous with the confident air of a…woman…a human…who had a strong back.

I was happy…confident…and was very very naughty…hmm…

But that time is past.

Such claim of being…happy…confident…naughty…humorous…as I had has been taken from me.

In fact I am standing…somewhat…like unmasked…or perhaps…unveiled.

Perhaps....this is my true face...ugly...tearful...sad...?

Now I know….how it is to live alone…to be alone out there…in this world…where you may not find friendliness in every human you meet…

And where you are trying hard not to talk about what you have suffered but whenever you open your mouth something on the subject came out….and you feel weakness…tears….and lots of pain.

What left now within me is just my continuous writings…

I am writing a lot nowadays but does this writing makes any sense….or even does anyone care?

What is there...after all in this writing now but a rather ingenious mixture of hyperbole and myosis?

How this sadness…this hollowness…this pain stumbled upon my writings secretly, I do not know.

Does...this has to do with loosing a loved one? Or am I over reacting?

hmmm.....